英语常用脏话实战

英语常用脏话实战 Vol.1


=========Night at the Opera========
John:Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary:Fucking Yeah.Should I wear my black dress?
John:Why the fuck not?
Mary:Fucked if I konw--Oh,fuck! I just rememnbered. It got fucked up int the wash.
John:Well,fuch the opera, let's stay home and fuck.
Mary:Good fucking idea.

最基本的7个脏词：
shit
fuck
piss
cunt
asshole
mother-fucker
cock-sucker

let's stay home and fuck

suck my fucking cock

son of bitch

偶一个朋友和她朋友最近在美国因为无意中多看了两个肥婆一眼，那两个肥婆居然咆哮起来，自然是美式粗口狂轰滥炸。偶朋友因为只学了文明美语，便无力招架，气到无语，只好以国骂了事，到头来只把自己气够呛，美国肥猪婆却没啥P事。痛定思痛，下决心要学美国粗口。望楼主及各楼住户多多提供重磅粗口，以备偶友武装自己，增强在与敌作战时的火力攻击。特奉上偶移民MOP以来的第一个253。

damn it！
fucking bull shit!

fuck you, the fucking fucker

dick 人家早就不用了。。。
cock 是目前稍微流行的字
还有retireless等。。不想说了

YOU JUST A SLIPPER LITTLE SHIT!
KISS MY EYES(ASS)
JERK

我的一个哥们儿没事儿就跟我这儿"suckmydick"di叫嚣.这回我可得把他叫过来好好学学(东北音.xiao2声)

fakin smart ass

fuck your asshole....还有，your..bastard

damn it&shit

fuck off~!!!!!!!!!

Bloody Hell, 或者是bloody xxxx，典型的英国式骂法

fucking good
All of these are fucking fantastic words.
and thx fucking 楼主.
hope see all of the fucking passage asap.

suck me!!bitch!!

或者suck my dXXX!!!

kiss my ass!!!

Hey do you want COCKS in your BUTTPLUG？ BITCH！

what a fxxking strong

person the bulding owner is!!!

shxteater,cockmaster,unclefxxker.
would u pls suck my balls?

其实，要骂的爽不是靠那么几个词。只是大家在中国感受不到，你认真的说Fuck you , Bitch , Son of A Bitch , Fuck OFF , Shut The Fuck Up一类词的时候，杀伤力就已经足够了，文化差异。
而真正的吵嘴，主要是类比和引经据典，然后要把他们以顺口的方式组合说出来，带节奏感，就很爽了。
这个时候往往说话频率特别快，而且都是一些背景文化知识相关的东西，你同学听不懂正常，而且，如果不是英语底子特别牛，甭想跟人对上，可能人就算慢慢的说出来骂你的话你什么句面意思都明白就愣不知道人在骂你。譬如，你可以应对You're Irish?表示别人讲了一堆废话。
这种情况，你可以说Will you shut the fuck up , fatie? U wanna know what the fuck i'm doing? I'm just wondering whether u sluts got loads of shit right under your crapy skin?Now stop those crap and fuck off while you still can, I'm not kidding you , another minute of those fucking crap and I'll beat the SHIT outta you ,tramp!
"the fuck"可以做副词，如Shut the fuck up / get the fuck out / WTF? / 动词 the fuck 名词
"fucking"作形容词也可做副词，放在名词后，不过可以表激烈的强调 u fucking kidding me? fucking son of a bitch , read the fucking mannul RTFM （很有名） ,
"骂女人" Slut / Bitch / Tramp / hooker : popularity依次降低
如果对别人的意见不在乎，可以说You can kiss my ass / suck my cock. Eat shit.
I don't give a fuck(damn, shit)
骂人的名词有asshole , punk , freak , crap(用的很多） , shit ，bastard 好想听过preak , 不是太清楚。形容词有lousy（多） / dumb / dopey / faggy / dummy/ crummy / snotty 等。
动词有 fuck / screw （多） / bang /
那个后面的the shit outta就不说了。
还有，多联系联系人家的mom也是很好的方法。（很贱）
嗯，就这么多吧，我也是个文明人啊。

{110}{180}.. [ Orchestra: Pastoral ]
{594}{653}[ Birds Twittering ]
{810}{886}. There's a bunch of birds .
{888}{952}. ln the sky .
{955}{1002}. And some deers .
{1003}{1093}. Just went running by .
{1094}{1165}. Oh, the snow's|pure and white .
{1167}{1277}. On the earth|rich and brown .
{1279}{1353}. Just another|Sunday morning .
{1355}{1407}. ln my quiet .
{1409}{1481}. Mountain town .
{1543}{1614}- [ Groans ]|- . The sun is shining|and the grass is green .
{1615}{1683}. Under the three feet|of snow, l mean .
{1685}{1755}. This is a day when it's hard|to wear a frown .
{1756}{1811}. All the happy people|stop to say hello .
{1813}{1883}- Get out of my way!|- . Even though the temperature's low .
{1885}{1933}. lt's a perfect|Sunday morning .
{1935}{1985}. ln my quiet|little mountain town .
{1987}{2035}Well, good morning, Stan.
{2036}{2091}- Mom, can l have eight dollars|to see a movie?|- A movie?
{2092}{2163}Yeah. lt's gonna be the best movie ever.|lt's a foreign film from Canada.
{2165}{2215}All right.|But be back for supper.
{2217}{2259}Thanks, Mom.
{2261}{2310}. Oh, what|a picture-perfect child .
{2312}{2365}. Just like Jesus|he's tender and mild .
{2367}{2453}. He'd wear a smile|while he wore a thorny crown .
{2455}{2516}. What an angel with|a heart so sweet and sure .
{2518}{2575}. And a mind|so open and pure .
{2575}{2681}. Thank God we live in this quiet,|redneck mountain town .
{2682}{2735}Dude!|Dude, wake up!
{2783}{2830}[ Stan ]|Kenny, come on!
{2831}{2865}[ Muffled ]|Coming!
{2867}{2943}The Terrance and Phillip movie is out.|You wanna come?
{2945}{3015}- [ Muffled ] Sure. Let's go!|- Where do you think you're goin'?
{3017}{3097}- [ Muffled Reply ]|- You can't. You have to go to church.
{3099}{3138}- [ Whining ]|- [ Mother ] Well, fine.
{3140}{3182}Go ahead and miss church.
{3183}{3262}Then when you die and go to hell,|you can answer to Satan!
{3264}{3313}[ Muffled ]|Okay!
{3315}{3366}. You can see your breath|hanging in the air .
{3368}{3415}. You see homeless people|but you just don't care .
{3417}{3499}. lt's a sea of smiles in which|we'd be glad to drown .
{3501}{3571}.. [ Muffled Singing ]
{3606}{3658}That's right!|. lt's Sunday morning .
{3660}{3693}[ Choir Joins ln ]|. ln our quiet, little .
{3694}{3752}. White-bread|redneck mountain town .
{3754}{3796}Ba-ba-ba-ba-bah!
{3798}{3861}- Ready, lke? Kick the baby!|- Don't kick the baby.
{3863}{3901}- Kick the baby!|- [ lke Shrieks, Giggles ]
{3929}{3980}lke! You broke another window!
{3982}{4043}That's a bad baby!|Bad baby!
{4045}{4107}Kyle, we're going to|the Terrance and Phillip movie.
{4109}{4172}- Oh, my God, dude!|- Kyle! Where are you going?
{4174}{4209}Uh, ice skating.
{4211}{4257}Well, take your|little brother with you.
{4259}{4332}- He's not even my real brother.|He's adopted.|- Do as l say, Kyle!
{4334}{4366}Okay, okay, l'm sorry.
{4412}{4460}. Look at those frail|and fragile boys .
{4462}{4520}. lt really gets me down .
{4522}{4575}. The world|is such a rotten place .
{4577}{4624}. And city life's|a complete disgrace .
{4625}{4687}. That's why l moved to|this redneck, meshugeneh .
{4689}{4739}. Quiet mountain .
{4741}{4816}. Town .
{4818}{4879}- lke! Bad baby!|- [ Murmurs ]
{4881}{4926}[ TV Announcer ] This program|is brought to you by Snacky Smores...
{4928}{4987}- the creamy fun of Smores|in a delightful cookie crunch.|- [ Doorbell Rings ]
{4987}{5034}Mom! Somebody's at the door!
{5035}{5085}- Coming, hon.|- Aah! l can't see the TV!
{5087}{5157}lt's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein|was killed by a pack of wild boars...
{5159}{5215}and the world is still glad|to be rid of him.
{5217}{5266}Oh, look, Eric.|lt's your little friends.
{5268}{5314}- Cartman!|- What are you guys doing here?
{5348}{5408}Oh, sweet, dude!|Yes! Yes!
{5410}{5477}. Off to the movies|we shall go .
{5478}{5537}. Where we learn everything|that we know .
{5538}{5571}. 'Cause the movies teach us .
{5572}{5627}. What our parents|don't have time to say .
{5629}{5699}. And this movie's gonna|make our lives complete .
{5701}{5743}. 'Cause Terrance and Phillip .
{5744}{5794}- . Are sweet .|- Super sweet!
{5796}{5835}. Thank God we live|in the quiet .
{5836}{5912}-. Little, redneck podunk, white-trash .|-Whoo-whoo!
{5914}{5959}. U... S... .
{5961}{6026}. A ..
{6028}{6099}Can l have five tickets to Terrance|and Phillip's Asses of Fire, please?
{6101}{6144}No!
{6173}{6210}What do you mean, ""no""?
{6212}{6258}Asses of Fire|has been rated ""R""...
{6260}{6306}by the Motion Picture|Association of America.
{6308}{6365}You have to be accompanied|by a parent or guardian.
{6367}{6420}- But why?|- Because this movie|has naughty language!
{6422}{6477}- Next, please.|- [ Cash Register Rings ]
{6478}{6538}- This can't be happening.|- We have to see this movie, dude.
{6540}{6598}Ah, screw it. lt probably|isn't all that good anyway.
{6600}{6652}Cartman, you love|Terrance and Phillip!
{6654}{6700}Yeah, but the animation's|all crappy.
{6759}{6796}Wait. l've got an idea.
{6798}{6885}Uh, hi. l want six tickets|to Asses of Fire.
{6887}{6941}This movie might not be appropriate|for your little ones.
{6943}{6999}He says this movie|isn't appropriate for you.
{7000}{7059}Look, Mr. Homeless Guy, if you|don't want to buy us tickets...
{7061}{7123}and not get your ten bucks|and not buy yourself a bottle|of vodka, then be my guest.
{7124}{7181}- Six tickets, please.|- [ Register Rings ]
{7182}{7243}[ Murmuring ]
{7245}{7291}- Let me have some candy, Cartman.|- Oh, let's see.
{7293}{7339}Uh, nope, l don't have|any Jewish candy.
{7341}{7390}Like you really need|all that chocolate, fat boy!
{7392}{7442}- Ba-ba-ba-bah!|- Shh! The movie's starting.
{7561}{7609}- Hooray!|- Say, Terrance.
{7611}{7678}What did the Spanish priest say|to the lranian gynecologist?
{7679}{7713}l don't know, Phillip.|What?
{7715}{7762}- [ Fart ]|- [ Laughing Hysterically ]
{7764}{7820}- [ Laughing ]|- Where do they come up with this stuff?
{7822}{7870}You're such a pig fucker,|Phillip!
{7872}{7911}[ Gasps ]|What did he say?
{7913}{7959}Why would you call me|a pig fucker?
{7960}{8032}Well, let's see.|First of all, you fuck pigs.
{8034}{8080}- Oh, yeah.|- [ Laughing Hysterically ]
{8082}{8141}[ Terrance ] Well, fuck my ass|and call me a bitch!
{8174}{8213}Oh, you shit-faced cockmaster!
{8215}{8285}- [ All ] Wow!|- Shit-faced cockmaster.
{8287}{8324}Listen, you donkey-raping|shit-eater.
{8326}{8402}- Donkey-raping shit-eater.|- [ Babbling ] Shit-eater.
{8403}{8461}- You'd fuck your uncle!|- You'd fuck your uncle!
{8492}{8549}. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{8551}{8617}. You're a cock-sucking|ass-licking uncle fucker .
{8619}{8666}. You're an uncle fucker|Yes, it's true .
{8668}{8697}. Nobody fucks uncles|quite like you .
{8699}{8751}. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{8753}{8821}. You're the one that fucked your uncle|uncle fucker .
{8823}{8869}. You don't eat or sleep|or mow the lawn .
{8871}{8901}. You just fuck your uncle|all day long .
{8927}{8969}- .. [ Rhythmic Farting ]|- Hmm!
{8971}{9042}.. [ Rhythmic Farting Continues ]
{9072}{9131}[ Disgusted Murmuring ]
{9131}{9170}[ Terrance, Phillip|Laughing Hysterically ]
{9172}{9206}- [ Loud Fart ]|- What's going on here?
{9208}{9278}.. [ Rhythmic Farting Continues ]
{9280}{9341}- What garbage!|- Well, what do you expect?|They're Canadian.
{9426}{9475}[ Chorus ]|. Uncle fucker .
{9477}{9526}. Uncle fucker, uncle fucker|Uncle fucker .
{9528}{9577}- . Oooh-ooh .|- [ Fart ]
{9579}{9626}- . Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .|- . Uncle fucker .
{9628}{9700}. You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker .
{9702}{9740}. You're a uncle fucker|l must say .
{9741}{9787}. Well, you fucked|your uncle yesterday .|[ Laughing ]
{9789}{9838}. Uncle fucker|That's U .
{9840}{9891}. N-C-L-E .|Fuck you!
{9894}{9937}. Uncle fucker ..
{9939}{9968}Suck my balls.
{10074}{10117}Dude, that movie|was fucking sweet!
{10118}{10206}- You bet your fucking ass it was.|- Fuck, dude, l wanna be just|like Terrance and Phillip.
{10208}{10269}- Wait a minute. Where's your guardian?|- Huh?
{10271}{10366}l knew it! You paid a homeless guy|to get you in, didn't you?
{10368}{10421}Fuck off, you donkey-raping|shit-eater!
{10423}{10458}[ Fart ]|Yeah.
{10460}{10506}. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{10508}{10580}[ All ] . You're an ass-licking|ball-sucking uncle fucker .
{10645}{10696}- Hey, hey, hey!|- [ Laughing ]
{10698}{10746}Ahhh!
{10786}{10848}- Where have you guys been?|- Oh, nowhere.
{10850}{10902}We just went to see|the Terrance and Phillip movie.
{10904}{10968}- [ Gasping, Chattering ]|- How'd you get in?
{10970}{11033}Hey, stop crowding us,|you shit-faced cockmasters!
{11034}{11068}[ All ]|Wow!
{11069}{11124}You're all a bunch of|ass-ramming uncle fuckers!
{11126}{11193}- [ All ] Ooooh!|- We've got to see this movie.
{11195}{11256}Terrance and Phillip are Canadian,|just like my brother.
{11333}{11375}[ Voice-over ]|. There's the girl that l like .
{11377}{11473}Hey, Stan, tell about|when Terrance called Phillip|a testicle-shitting rectal wart.
{11475}{11545}. Now more than ever|she gives me butterflies .
{11546}{11589}. lt makes my stomach queasy .
{11590}{11648}. Every time she walks by .
{11650}{11707}Asshole, l'm talking to you!
{11709}{11773}. l know l can be cool|if l try ..
{11775}{11809}Hi, Stan.
{11811}{11861}Gross!
{11863}{11924}Come, Wendy.|Let us try to jump the hilly brush.
{11926}{11988}- Who are you, kid?|- My name is Gregory.
{11989}{12051}l just transferred from Yardale,|where l had a 4.0 grade point average.
{12053}{12105}Wanna skate with us?
{12106}{12177}We've been skating and laughing|and talking of memories past.
{12179}{12253}- We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie.|- Oh-ho!
{12255}{12296}Try and catch me, Wendy.
{12332}{12369}Bye, Stan.
{12438}{12508}Yes, yes, l saw|the Terrance and Phillip movie.
{12510}{12556}Who wants to touch me?
{12558}{12604}l said, who wants to|fuckin' touch me?
{12629}{12675}- Ooh!|- Come on, gang.
{12677}{12747}We gotta see the Terrance|and Phillip movie too.
{12798}{12854}l hate you, Kenny.
{12857}{12908}[ Rooster Crowing ]
{12910}{12972}[ School Bell Ringing ]
{12974}{13017}. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{13018}{13076}. You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker .
{13078}{13149}- . You're a-- . Shh! Shh!|- Okay, children, let's take our seats.
{13151}{13209}We have a lot|to learn today.
{13211}{13258}We sure do, Mr. Hat.
{13259}{13342}Okay, children, let's start the day|with a few new math problems.
{13344}{13396}What is 5 times 2?
{13432}{13494}Don't be shy.|Just give it your best shot.
{13519}{13556}- Yes, Clyde.|- Twelve?
{13557}{13605}Okay, now let's try|to get an answer...
{13606}{13653}from someone who's not|a complete retard.
{13655}{13715}Anyone?|Come on. Don't be shy.
{13717}{13763}l think l know the answer,|Mr. Garrison.
{13765}{13811}- [ Mocking Gibberish ]|- Shut up, fat boy!
{13813}{13898}- Hey, don't call me fat,|you fucking Jew!|- Did you just say the ""F"" word?
{13900}{13946}- ""Jew""?|- He's talking about ""fuck.""
{13948}{14000}- You can't say ""fuck"" in school,|you fucking fat-ass.|- Kyle!
{14001}{14038}- Why the fuck not?|- Eric!
{14040}{14084}- Dude, you said ""fuck"" again.|- Stanley!
{14086}{14135}- [ Muffled ] Fuck.|- Kenny!|- What's the big deal?
{14136}{14183}lt doesn't hurt anybody.|Fuck, fuckity, fuck-fuck-fuck!
{14185}{14241}How would you like to go see|the school counselor?
{14242}{14296}How would you like|to suck my balls?
{14298}{14358}- [ All Gasp ]|- What did you say?
{14360}{14432}U-Uh, l'm sorry, l'm sorry.|Actually, what l said was:
{14434}{14472}[ Feedback ]
{14473}{14574}How would you like|to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?
{14599}{14630}Holy shit, dude.
{14657}{14696}[ Grunts ]
{14698}{14752}l'm very disappointed|in you boys.
{14753}{14800}M'kay? You should be|ashamed of yourselves.
{14802}{14869}- l've already called in your mothers--|- You called my mom?
{14871}{14917}- That's right.|- Oh, no, dude!
{14919}{14982}- Mr. Mackey, can l ask a question?|- M'kay, what?
{14984}{15030}- What's the big fuckin' deal, bitch?|- Yeah!
{15031}{15132}Aaah! Now, l want to know|where you heard these horrific|obscenities! M'kay?
{15134}{15227}- Nowhere.|- We heard them from Mr. Garrison|a few times before.
{15229}{15299}Boys, l seriously doubt that|Mr. Garrison ever said, uh--
{15301}{15359}""Eat penguin shit,|you ass spelunker.""
{15360}{15416}- [ All Laughing ]|- Sweet!
{15458}{15501}Uh-oh.
{15530}{15580}Thank you all for coming|on such short notice.
{15582}{15628}This isn't like you,|Stanley.
{15630}{15700}What did my son say, Mr. Mackey?|Did he say the ""S"" word?
{15702}{15770}- No, it was worse than that.|- The ""F"" word?
{15772}{15853}Here's a short list of things|they've been saying. M'kay?
{15855}{15925}- Oh, dear God.|- What the heck is a rim job?
{15927}{16020}Why, that's when you put|your legs behind your head|and have someone lick your ass.
{16065}{16172}Young man, tell Mr. Mackey|this instant where you heard|all these horrible phrases!
{16173}{16224}- l-- l--|- We can't tell you.
{16225}{16294}- We swore ourselves to secrecy.|- lt was the Terrance|and Phillip movie.
{16296}{16344}- Dude!|- Fuck you guys.|l wanna get out of here.
{16346}{16397}Terrance and Phillip?|Those Canadians?
{16399}{16450}What the heck is|Terrance and Phillip?
{16452}{16489}Terrance and Phillip...
{16491}{16538}are two very untalented actors|from Canada.
{16539}{16596}Nothing but foul language|and toilet humor.
{16597}{16705}l'll send a warning letter|to parents before more children|see Terrance and Phillip.
{16707}{16749}- Everybody's fuckin' seein' it.|- Eric!
{16751}{16836}l'm sorry. l can't help myself. That|movie has warped my fragile little mind.
{16837}{16931}- My mom gave me egg again.|- [ All Chattering ]
{17007}{17045}[ Voice-over ]|. There's the girl that l like .
{17094}{17169}. Over there laughing|with that smart new-- .
{17170}{17248}Hey! You're holding up|the goddamn lunch line!
{17250}{17293}Hello there, children!
{17295}{17329}- Hey, Chef.|- How's it goin'?
{17331}{17362}- Bad.|- Why bad?
{17364}{17403}We got busted for swearing.
{17405}{17451}We can't ever see the Terrance|and Phillip movie again.
{17453}{17520}- Oh, that's too bad.|- You should've seen Kyle|when his mom showed up.
{17522}{17577}He was scared|out of his mind. Shut up.
{17579}{17625}l'd be scared too.|Your mom's a fucking bitch.
{17627}{17668}Don't call my mom a bitch,|you fat fuck!
{17670}{17718}Don't call me fat,|you butt-fucking son of a bitch!
{17720}{17782}Whoa, children! Where did|you learn to talk like that?
{17783}{17818}[ Cartman ]|Pretty fuckin' sweet, huh?
{17819}{17889}Chef, how do you make a woman|like you more than any other guy?
{17890}{17962}Oh, that's easy.|You just gotta find the clitoris.
{17964}{18002}- Huh?|- Whoops!
{18004}{18083}- What does that mean,|""find the clitoris""?|- Forget l said anything.
{18085}{18135}Move along.|You're holding up the line.
{18137}{18197}You guys, do you know where|l can find the clitoris?
{18199}{18254}- The what?|- ls that like finding Jesus?
{18256}{18341}[ Mr. Mackey ] Attention, students.|We are now enforcing a new dress code...
{18343}{18383}at South Park Elementary.
{18385}{18472}Terrance and Phillip T-shirts|are no longer allowed in school.
{18473}{18554}Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip|shirt is to be sent home immediately.
{18556}{18648}[ Children Cheering,|Laughing, Chattering ]
{18697}{18783}The R-rated Canadian film Asses of Fire|is number one at the box office.
{18785}{18831}But is the film|destroying American youth?
{18833}{18894}Here with a special report|is a midget in a bikini.
{18895}{18989}lt appears the effects of the Canadian|comedy are far-reaching indeed.
{18991}{19051}All over America|children seem to be influenced...
{19053}{19100}like at this spelling bee|in Washington.
{19101}{19150}This is for|the silver medal.
{19152}{19198}Spell ""forensics.""
{19199}{19264}Aw, fuck that. Why should l fucking|have to spell ""forensics""?
{19266}{19316}- Yeah!|- Here you go.
{19317}{19408}""S-U-C-K M-Y A-S-S.""|Forensics.
{19409}{19480}Tom, the devastating impact|of the Canadian duo can also be seen...
{19480}{19569}with their new hit song,|""Shut Your Fucking Face,|Uncle Fucker.""
{19571}{19647}[ Rapping ]|. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{19649}{19692}. You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker .
{19694}{19726}. Eh-eh|Eh-eh-eh-eh .
{19727}{19768}. l told you|that we won't stop .
{19770}{19811}. Thought l told you|that we won't stop ..
{19813}{19883}- Back to you, Tom.|- Thanks, Midget. Shocking report.
{19885}{19944}The controversy began in the small|mountain town of South Park...
{19945}{20003}where the local P.T.A.|is trying to ban the movie.
{20005}{20088}- With us tonight is the head|of the P.T.A., Sheila Broflovski.|- Hello.
{20089}{20158}- And the Canadian minister of movies.|- Thanks for having me, buddy.
{20159}{20220}Minister, parents are concerned about|your country's entertainment.
{20222}{20256}Your thoughts?
{20257}{20328}Well, the film is R-rated.|lt's not intended for children--
{20330}{20400}- But of course children|are gonna see it.|- Can l finish?
{20402}{20460}- We Canadians are quite|surprised by your outrage.|- You just don't care!
{20462}{20497}Can l finish? Hello?
{20499}{20569}The United States has graphic violence|on television all the time.
{20571}{20641}We can't believe that a movie|with some foul language|would piss you off so much.
{20643}{20705}- Because it's evil!|- Can l finish? Please! Can l finish?
{20731}{20772}Okay, l'm finished.
{20773}{20860}But it isn't like this film is the first|troublesome thing to come out of Canada.
{20861}{20908}Let us not forget|Bryan Adams.
{20909}{20980}The Canadian government has apologized|for Bryan Adams on several occasions.
{20981}{21028}You Canadians|are all the same...
{21029}{21076}with your beady eyes|and flapping heads.
{21077}{21136}- You're trash!|- l resent that! l find that racist!
{21138}{21205}- Our children are now|addicted to your trash.|- You are a racist, ma'am!
{21207}{21330}lt is going to take us weeks|to erase the damage this film|has done to our children!
{21384}{21472}Um, kids, l wanna welcome you|to rehabilitation. M'kay?
{21474}{21540}Your mothers insisted that you be taken|from your normal schoolwork...
{21540}{21598}and placed into rehab|to learn not to swear.
{21599}{21646}l don't belong|with these rogues.
{21647}{21718}l attended Yardale and had|a 4.0 grade point average.
{21719}{21766}You're a fuckin' faggot, dude.
{21767}{21825}M'kay, children, this is|what l'm talking about.
{21827}{21883}We have to get you off|of foul language.
{21885}{21942}- How are we gonna do that?|- Well, listen here.
{21944}{22016}[ Speaking Song lntro ] There are times|when you get suckered in...
{22018}{22110}by drugs and alcohol|and sex with women-- m'kay?
{22112}{22169}But it's when you do|these things too much...
{22171}{22291}. That you've become an addict|and must get back in touch .
{22293}{22367}. You can do it|lt's all up to you, m'kay .
{22403}{22477}. With a little plan you can|change your life today .
{22479}{22535}. You don't have to spend your life|addicted to smack .
{22537}{22603}. Homeless on the streets|Giving hand jobs for crack .
{22605}{22680}. Follow my plan|and very soon you will say .
{22682}{22743}. lt's easy, m'kay .
{22745}{22779}. Step one|lnstead of ""ass,"" say ""buns"" .
{22780}{22836}. Like ""kiss my buns""|or ""you're a buns-hole"" .
{22838}{22875}. Step two|lnstead of ""shit,"" say ""poo"" .
{22877}{22939}. As in ""bull-poo,"" ""poo-head""|and ""this poo is cold"" .
{22941}{22976}. Step three|With ""bitch,"" drop the ""T"" .
{22978}{23039}. 'Cause bich is Latin|for ""generosity"" .
{23040}{23075}. Step four|Don't say ""fuck"" anymore .
{23077}{23129}. 'Cause ""fuck"" is the worst word|that you can say .
{23131}{23186}. So just use the word ""m'kay"" .
{23188}{23224}. We can do it|lt's all up to us .
{23225}{23278}- . M'kay .|- M'kay.
{23280}{23332}. With a little plan we can|change our lives today .
{23334}{23372}. You can change it today .
{23374}{23431}. You don't have to spend your life|shooting up in the trash .
{23433}{23483}. Homeless on the streets|Giving hand jobs for cash .
{23484}{23553}. Follow this plan|and very soon you will say .
{23554}{23609}. lt's easy, m'kay .
{23610}{23670}- Step one.|- lnstead of ""ass,"" say ""buns.""
{23671}{23695}Like ""kiss my buns.""
{23697}{23729}Or ""you're a buns-hole.""
{23730}{23770}- Step two.|- lnstead of ""shit,"" say ""poo.""
{23772}{23799}- As in ""bull-poo.""|- ""Poo-head.""
{23801}{23831}And ""this poo is cold.""
{23833}{23872}- Step three.|- With ""bitch,"" drop the ""T.""
{23874}{23929}'Cause bich is Latin|for ""generosity.""
{23930}{23969}- Step four!|- . Don't say ""fuck"" anymore .
{23971}{24023}. 'Cause ""fuck"" is the worst word|that you can say .
{24025}{24072}. ""Fuck"" is the worst word|that you can say .
{24073}{24108}. We shouldn't say ""fuck""|No, we shouldn't say ""fuck"" .
{24110}{24167}- . Fuck no .|- You're cured! You can go!
{24169}{24223}. You don't have to spend your life|shooting up in the trash .
{24225}{24274}. Homeless on the streets|Giving hand jobs for cash .
{24276}{24351}. Follow this plan|and very soon you will say .
{24353}{24396}- . lt's easy, m'kay .|- . lt's easy, m'kay .
{24397}{24440}- . lt's easy, m'kay .|- . lt's easy, m'kay .
{24442}{24515}- . lt's easy, m'kay .|- . lt's easy, m--|lt's easy, m-- .
{24516}{24563}. lt's easy, m'kay ..
{24565}{24635}- [ All Laughing ]|- [ Mr. Mackey ] M'kay! M'kay!
{24637}{24678}M'kay.
{24680}{24726}Now you're cured.
{24728}{24798}You can take the rest of the afternoon|off for personal reflection. M'kay?
{24800}{24896}Find your own constructive way|to better yourself, m'kay?
{24900}{24975}[ Cackling ] Well, Phillip,|l hope you've learned something...
{24977}{25015}through this whole experience.
{25017}{25080}l did. l learned that you are|a boner-biting, dick-fart-fuck-face.
{25082}{25128}[ Both Cackling ]
{25129}{25191}Want to see|the Northern Lights?
{25193}{25235}[ Poot ]
{25236}{25311}You burnt yourself to death|by lighting your fart! [ Cackling ]
{25313}{25372}l sure did, Phillip!
{25374}{25433}. Uncle Fucker ..
{25434}{25465}Good night!
{25467}{25513}[ Cheering, Laughing ]
{25515}{25561}That movie rules!
{25563}{25624}Man, that movie gets better|every time l see it.
{25626}{25696}- [ Attendant ] Hey!|- Yeah, but that part about|lighting farts is bullshit.
{25698}{25754}- You can't do that.|- [ Muffled ] Yeah, you can.
{25755}{25813}- No way!|- [ Muffled ] Yes, you can!
{25814}{25881}Okay, Kenny, l'll bet you $100|you can't light a fart on fire.
{25883}{25916}[ Muffled Reply ]
{25978}{26032}- [ Poot ]|- [ Kenny Giggling ]
{26034}{26088}- [ Screaming ]|- Holy shit, dude!
{26090}{26136}Oh, my God!
{26137}{26180}Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
{26181}{26223}Help! Somebody do something!
{26225}{26269}This stick is on fire!
{26324}{26363}[ Gasps ]
{26364}{26411}[ Kenny Screaming, Muffled ]
{26412}{26482}- Oh, my God! You killed Kenny!|- You bastard!
{26484}{26547}l guess you can|light a fart on fire.
{26573}{26627}[ Nurse ]|Over here, Doctor!
{26629}{26698}- Load that l.V. with 70 ccs|of sodium pentothol.|- We just called the parents.
{26700}{26777}Now our moms are gonna find out|we went to the Terrance|and Phillip movie again.
{26779}{26866}Vacuum! Try to untangle|his trachea and esophagus!
{26868}{26918}- Dude!|- No, that doesn't go there!
{26920}{26975}[ Screaming ]
{26977}{27046}- Ohh!|- Gross, Stan!|- That's sick!
{27048}{27090}- [ Nurse ] Watch his liver!|- l'll get it!
{27092}{27155}- [ Continues Screaming ]|- We have precious little time left!
{27157}{27207}- We're gonna lose him soon!|- Doctor, his heart's stopped!
{27209}{27264}Let's get it out of there!|We need to zap this, quick!
{27315}{27361}Who's making a potato?
{27363}{27402}My bad, sir.|l missed lunch.
{27404}{27471}Damn it, l'm not|gonna lose this kid!
{27473}{27577}[ Doctor ] Close him up. We've done|all we can. The rest is up to God.
{27614}{27684}- Kenny? Kenny, can you hear me?|- [ Muffled ] Holy shit, dude.
{27686}{27764}- How are you feeling, son?|- [ Muffled Reply ]
{27766}{27812}Great.|Son, l have some bad news.
{27814}{27908}We accidentally replaced|your heart with a baked potato.|You have three seconds to live.
{27909}{27970}- [ Muffled ] What?|- Fucking weak, dude!
{27972}{28019}Oh, my God.|They killed Kenny!
{28020}{28058}You bastards!
{28060}{28164}Damn it!|lt never gets any easier!
{28166}{28212}.. [ Whistling ]
{28245}{28304}l bet him he couldn't do it.|l bet him $100.
{28305}{28352}Cartman, it's not your fault.
{28353}{28424}No, l know. l'm just fuckin' stoked|l don't have to pay him.
{28424}{28494}Oh, that's real nice.|He was your friend, you fat fuck!
{28496}{28567}So, boys,|you saw that movie again?
{28569}{28632}- [ All ] Yes.|- Well, Kyle, l have had it!
{28634}{28691}You are grounded|for the next two weeks!
{28693}{28739}[ Gasps ]|Grounded?
{28741}{28780}And you, Stan.|Come on.
{28782}{28829}And you're grounded|for three weeks, Eric.
{28830}{28892}Why am l grounded more?|That's fuckin' bullshit!
{28924}{28964}What was that word, young man?
{28966}{29056}[ Echoing ]|...word, young man?|...word, young man?
{29304}{29390}[ Male Singer, Ballad ]|. Little boy at peace .
{29392}{29492}What is this place?|. Beyond the stars .
{29494}{29553}. Open up your eyes .
{29554}{29654}. What are these things|you're moving toward .
{29656}{29728}. Head so full of wonder .
{29730}{29803}. Worries in the past .
{29804}{29855}. Could it be|that you are free at last .
{29857}{29916}[ Buzzer Sounding ]
{29918}{29963}No! Whoo-hoo!
{29964}{30011}- [ Singer Wailing ]|- .. [ Heavy Metal ]
{30085}{30138}. Little boy|you're going to Hell .
{30140}{30189}. You said bad words|Threw rocks at the birds .
{30191}{30231}. And now|this is your hotel .
{30233}{30296}. You ain't goin' back|This ain't Disneyland|lt's Hell .
{30297}{30347}- [ Roaring ]|- [ Screaming ]
{30349}{30408}. Little boy|it's time for you to pay .
{30410}{30463}. For hurtin' that bird|and not goin to church|and starin' at boobs every day .
{30464}{30558}. Thought you were in bed|lnstead, you're in Hell .
{30560}{30647}- [ Whimpering ]|- . Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good, Hell .
{30649}{30724}. Oh, Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good, Hell .
{30726}{30773}[ Shouting ln German ]
{30774}{30821}Hey, fuck-face,|have you seen Gracie?
{30822}{30904}There is orderliness|in the universe.
{30906}{30959}. Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good .
{30961}{30990}. Hell ..
{31143}{31174}[ Poot ]
{31221}{31299}Parents, our children|are out of control.
{31300}{31395}This is what happens when toilet humor|is allowed to run rampant!
{31396}{31443}That's right.|Kenny set himself on fire...
{31445}{31518}because he saw Terrance and Phillip|do it in that dirty movie!
{31520}{31590}We must stop dirty language|from getting to our children's ears!
{31592}{31652}We must go fight|the source of it!
{31653}{31741}- But what is the source?|- Oh, that's easy.
{31744}{31810}. Times have changed|Our kids are getting worse .
{31812}{31847}. They won't obey their parents .
{31849}{31886}. They just want|to fart and curse .
{31888}{31923}. Should we|blame the government .
{31925}{31960}. Or blame society .
{31961}{32023}. Or should we blame|the images on TV .
{32025}{32099}- No!|. Blame Canada .|- . Blame Canada .
{32100}{32132}. Before their beady|little eyes .
{32134}{32181}. Have packed their heads|so full of lies .
{32183}{32254}. Blame Canada|Blame Canada .
{32255}{32291}. We need to form|a full assault .
{32293}{32351}. lt's Canada's fault .
{32352}{32408}. Don't blame me|for my son Stan .
{32410}{32492}. He saw the darn cartoon|and now he's off to join the Klan .
{32494}{32560}. And my boy Eric once had|my picture on his shelf .
{32562}{32622}. But now when l see him|he tells me to fuck myself .
{32624}{32662}Well?|. Blame Canada .
{32664}{32702}. Blame Canada .
{32704}{32770}. lt seems that everything's gone wrong|since Canada came along .
{32772}{32814}. Blame Canada .
{32816}{32856}. Blame Canada .
{32858}{32935}. They're not even|a real country anyway .
{32937}{33014}. My son could've been a doctor|or a lawyer rich and true .
{33016}{33090}. lnstead he burned up|like a piggy on a barbecue .
{33092}{33158}- . Should we blame the matches .|- . Should we blame the fire .
{33160}{33212}. Or the doctors who|allowed him to expire .
{33214}{33266}Heck, no!|. Blame Canada .
{33268}{33306}. Blame Canada .
{33308}{33343}. With all their hockey|hullabaloo .
{33345}{33386}. And that bitch|Anne Murray too .
{33388}{33457}. Blame Canada|Shame on Canada .
{33458}{33523}. For the smut we must stop|The trash we must smash .
{33524}{33554}. The laughter and fun|must all be undone .
{33556}{33592}. We must blame them|and cause a fuss .
{33594}{33753}. Before somebody|thinks of blaming us ..
{33806}{33888}All right, you turds,|listen up!
{33890}{33974}Your moms are away at a meeting.|They put me in charge of you.
{33976}{34046}But you're still grounded,|so you're not allowed to have any fun.
{34048}{34118}- Any questions?|- Shelley, where's the clitoris?
{34176}{34247}Now you all just sit there|and keep your mouths shut...
{34248}{34332}while l go listen to|my Britney Spears records.
{34334}{34395}- [ Door Closes ]|- Okay, it's clear.
{34397}{34444}[ Audience Applauding ]
{34445}{34516}Our next guests have the number one|movie in the world right now.
{34517}{34579}Please welcome|Terrance and Phillip.
{34581}{34652}- Yea!|- [ Studio Audience Booing ]
{34653}{34700}- Hello, Conan.|- Hello, Brooke Shields.
{34701}{34806}Guys, some people claim|that your Canadian humor|is nothing but immature fart jokes.
{34807}{34884}That's not true. Take this classic|Canadian joke, for instance.
{34886}{34947}- [ Clears Throat ]|Excuse me, Terrance.|- Yes, Phillip?
{34949}{34999}[ Poot ]
{35001}{35042}- [ Cackling ]|- Gosh-darn it!
{35074}{35123}- Good one, Phillip. Cheers!|- Cheers, fuck-face.
{35125}{35170}Guys, you can't|say that on TV.
{35172}{35218}Now Terrance smells|like my ass!
{35220}{35303}l farted once on the set|of Blue Lagoon!
{35398}{35468}So, guys, does it make you|nervous to be in America?
{35470}{35543}A lot of organizations here want you|arrested for destroying children.
{35544}{35614}- They'd have to find us first.|- You're right. Now!
{35616}{35656}[ Soldiers Shouting ]
{35658}{35704}Terrance and Phillip...
{35706}{35772}Mothers Against Canada is placing you|under citizen's arrest!
{35774}{35816}- Mom?|- Dude, what the hell's going on?
{35818}{35868}We have a court order|for your arrest!
{35870}{35948}- Phillip, we've been ambushed!|- Here you go, Conan.
{35950}{36002}This little scrotum-sucker|deceived us.
{36004}{36058}- You are a bad man!|- Don't listen to them, Conan.
{36060}{36123}You loved our movie, Conan.|We watched it together.
{36124}{36171}Remember?|You laughed!
{36172}{36222}What have l done?
{36224}{36268}[ Screaming ]
{36317}{36364}[ Car Alarm Wailing ]
{36365}{36403}- [ Click ]|- [ Alarm Stops ]
{36405}{36486}Holy crap! Did you see that?|They arrested Terrance and Phillip!
{36613}{36653}As the Canadian ambassador...
{36655}{36726}l condemn the actions taken by America|in apprehending Terrance and Phillip.
{36727}{36769}- [ Muttering, Shouting ]|- As you can see...
{36771}{36830}the entire economy of Canada|relies on Terrance and Phillip.
{36832}{36900}- Without them,|we are doomed to recession.|- [ Gavel Bangs ]
{36901}{36953}What say you,|Mr. American Ambassador?
{36955}{37023}[ Ambassadors Quiet ]
{37025}{37084}- Fuck Canada!|- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
{37085}{37132}Terrance and Phillip|will not be released.
{37133}{37198}They are going to be put on trial|for corrupting America's youth.
{37200}{37246}We don't know what|all the fuss is about.
{37248}{37294}The fuss is ""aboot""|taking our citizens!
{37296}{37350}lt's ""aboot"" not censoring our art.|lt's ""aboot""--
{37352}{37415}lt's ""aboot""--|What's so goddamn funny?
{37416}{37456}N-Nothing. Nothing.
{37458}{37528}Could you tell us again|what your argument is all about?
{37530}{37596}This is not ""aboot"" diplomacy;|this is ""aboot"" dignity.
{37598}{37662}This is ""aboot"" respect. This is|""aboot"" realizing that humor is--
{37663}{37710}- [ Laughing Continues ]|- You guys are dicks!
{37711}{37787}Release Terrance and Phillip, or we'll|give you something to cry ""aboot""!
{37834}{37883}Stop! Stop!
{38099}{38169}Pilot to bombardier!|Pilot to bombardier!|Were nearing the target!
{38171}{38210}Bombs ready, buddy!
{38211}{38247}- [ Phone Rings ]|- Baldwin residence.
{38249}{38298}No, this is Billy Baldwin!
{38300}{38375}lf you want Daniel Baldwin|call his extension, stupid!
{38376}{38471}- Alec, do you know what sucks|about being a Baldwin?|- No. What?
{38473}{38526}- Nothing!|- Yeah! [ Laughing ]
{38656}{38711}Ha-ha!|You missed me!
{38744}{38799}[ School Bell Rings ]
{38801}{38914}Children, your mothers|are all making me throw away|my lesson plan and teach theirs.
{38916}{38972}How come our moms arrested|Terrance and Phillip?
{38974}{39006}- [ All ] Yeah!|- That's gay.
{39007}{39054}Well, your moms|are just upset.
{39055}{39125}- They're probably all|on their periods or something.|- Not cool.
{39127}{39202}Mr. Garrison, Wendy and l think|that was a sexist statement.
{39204}{39300}l'm sorry, Wendy, but l just|don't trust anything that bleeds|for five days and doesn't die.
{39302}{39391}Anyway, children, let's start off|with some vocabulary.
{39393}{39450}- [ Mr. Mackey ] Attention, students!|- Oh, what now?
{39452}{39564}Come to the gymnasium immediately|for a special announcement. M'kay?
{39566}{39620}[ All Chattering ]
{39621}{39683}- What's goin' on, Chef?|- Something big, children.
{39684}{39739}Chef, l can't find the clitoris.|You have to help me.
{39741}{39840}- Stan, the clitoris is--|- Take your seats, everyone.|They're about to announce it.
{39842}{39911}- M'kay?|- This is a state of emergency.
{39913}{40002}We go now to the White House|for an announcement from the|President of the United States.
{40004}{40050}My fellow Americans...
{40052}{40165}at 5:00 a.m. today,|a day which will live in infamy...
{40166}{40245}the Canadians|have bombed the Baldwins.
{40247}{40292}ln response to this...
{40293}{40372}the U.S. has declared war|on Canada.
{40374}{40408}[ All Gasp ]
{40410}{40456}- Oh, no!|- War?
{40458}{40531}- No, Gregory, no!|- This is bad, Wendy. Hold on to me.
{40533}{40576}All the Baldwins are dead?
{40577}{40648}Now it is time for us|to send a message to Canadians.
{40649}{40731}ln two days' time, the war criminals|Terrance and Phillip...
{40733}{40779}will be executed.
{40781}{40827}They're gonna kill them?
{40829}{40924}And now l'd like to bring out my newly|appointed secretary of offense...
{40925}{40974}Ms. Sheila Broflovski.
{40976}{41039}- Holy shit, dude!|- My fellow Americans...
{41041}{41136}our neighbor to the north|has abused us for the last time.
{41137}{41184}l have a plan|as commander-in-chief--
{41185}{41271}Canadians want to fight us because we|won't tolerate their potty mouths.
{41273}{41325}Well, if it is war they want...
{41327}{41386}then war they shall have!
{41438}{41484}Dude, this is fucking weak.
{41486}{41543}How could things|be any worse?
{41720}{41792}[ Whimpering ]
{41793}{41880}Fallen one, l am Satan.
{41882}{41945}l am your god now.
{41947}{42009}[ Shrieking ]
{42011}{42058}There is no escape!
{42060}{42138}[ Whimpering ]
{42140}{42210}Now feel|the delightful pain.
{42212}{42287}Hey, Satan!|Did you hear the news?
{42289}{42354}A war just broke out|up on Earth.
{42356}{42439}Meet Saddam Hussein,|my new partner in evil!
{42441}{42496}- Huh?|- Move over, Satan.|You're hoggin' all the fun.
{42496}{42587}- [ Metal Clanking ]|- Yeah! Yeah!|Man, this is gettin' me so hot!
{42588}{42656}- [ Continues Whimpering ]|- Saddam, would you let me|do my job, please?
{42658}{42776}- Come on, rub my nipples while|l torture this little piggy.|- Could l talk to you a second?
{42828}{42912}l don't see why you have to belittle me|in front of people like that.
{42914}{42950}Hey, relax, guy!
{42952}{43017}Well, sometimes l think you|don't have any respect for me.
{43019}{43068}Hey, come here, guy.
{43095}{43161}- Who's my cream puff?|- l am.
{43163}{43222}- That's right, baby.|- Huh?
{43293}{43340}Dude, l don't wanna be at war.
{43341}{43402}You don't think they're really gonna|kill Terrance and Phillip, do you?
{43404}{43451}Kyle, you need to stand up|to your mother.
{43452}{43526}Smack her in the face and say,|""That's enough of your shit,|you fuckin' bitch!""
{43527}{43573}Don't call my mom a bitch,|Cartman!
{43575}{43645}You guys, stop it. This isn't helping.|We've got to think here.
{43647}{43699}Let's see.|What would Brian Boitano do?
{43701}{43760}Yeah, what would|Brian Boitano do?
{43831}{43927}- Hey, what's goin' on?|- America thinks it has|the right to police the world.
{43929}{44021}Your government is going to kill|two Canadian citizens,|an action condemned by the U.N.
{44023}{44069}Home of the free, indeed.
{44099}{44150}- Let's play tetherball.|- [ All ] Yeah!
{44151}{44222}This is about freedom of speech,|about censorship!
{44224}{44270}Can't you guys be more political|like Gregory?
{44272}{44333}[ Voice-over ]|. There's the girl that l like .
{44335}{44414}. Now it appears that|she likes another guy .
{44416}{44511}. lt must be because|he's political and stuff .
{44552}{44618}. l bet|l could be political too ..
{44620}{44672}What do you think, Sta--
{44674}{44723}- Oh, God! [ Wailing ]|- Damn it!
{44725}{44799}- You guys, this is|all Kyle's mom's fault.|- Shut up, Cartman!
{44801}{44903}Kyle's mom started that|damn club, and all because|she's a big, fat, stupid b--
{44904}{44951}Don't say it, Cartman.
{44952}{44979}. Well-- .
{44980}{45028}Don't do it, Cartman!
{45030}{45061}. Well-- .
{45063}{45106}- l'm warning you!|- Okay, okay.
{45108}{45155}l'm gettin' pretty sick|of him calling my mom--
{45157}{45208}. Well... Kyle's mom's a bitch|She's a big, fat bitch .
{45210}{45245}. She's the biggest bitch|in the whole wide world .
{45247}{45283}. She's a stupid bitch|if there ever was a bitch .
{45284}{45330}. She's a bitch|to all the boys and girls .
{45332}{45396}Shut your fucking mouth,|Cartman!
{45398}{45433}. On Monday she's a bitch|On Tuesday she's a bitch .
{45435}{45467}. On Wednesdays and Saturdays|she's a bitch .
{45468}{45515}. Then on Sunday|just to be different .
{45516}{45568}. She's a super|King Kamehameha ""bee-utch"" .
{45569}{45617}Come on!|You all know the words!
{45618}{45650}. Have you ever met|my friend Kyle's mom .
{45652}{45684}. She's the biggest bitch|in the whole wide world .
{45686}{45715}. She's a mean old bitch|and she has stupid hair .
{45717}{45766}. She's a big, big, big, big|Big, big bitch .
{45767}{45824}. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch|Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch|She's a stupid bitch .
{45825}{45860}- Whoo!|- . Kyle's mom's a bitch .
{45862}{45926}- . And she's such a dirty bitch .|- Bitch!
{45928}{45984}Talk to kids around the world,|it might go a little bit|something like this:
{45985}{46054}.. [ Mock Chinese ]
{46055}{46124}.. [ Mock French ]
{46125}{46200}.. [ Mock Dutch, Yodeling ]
{46201}{46261}.. [ Mock African Language ]
{46263}{46293}. Have you ever met|my friend Kyle's mom .
{46295}{46326}. She's the biggest bitch|in the whole wide world .
{46327}{46384}. She's a mean old bitch|and she has stupid hair .
{46385}{46435}- . She's a bitch, bitch, bitch|bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch .|- [ All Gasp ]
{46437}{46463}. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch|Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch .
{46465}{46505}- . She's a stupid bitch .|- Uh, Cartman--
{46507}{46560}. Kyle's mom's a bitch|and she's such a dirty bitch .
{46562}{46591}. l really mean it .
{46593}{46645}. Kyle's mom .
{46647}{46689}. She's a big, fat .
{46691}{46764}. Fuckin' bitch .
{46766}{46825}. Big old fat fuckin' bitch|Kyle's mom ..
{46827}{46894}Yeah! Shh-kah!
{46973}{47019}What?
{47049}{47096}Oh, fuck.
{47100}{47157}[ Sheila ]|Okay, everyone, settle down!
{47158}{47220}As we continue|to send troops into Canada...
{47222}{47303}M.A.C. is also fighting the war|against potty mouths here at home.
{47305}{47385}Here to present the V-chip|is Dr. Vosknocker.
{47387}{47438}- [ Clears Throat ]|- [ Audience Murmuring ]
{47476}{47530}The machinery of the V-chip|is very simple.
{47532}{47629}lt is placed under|the child's skin where it emits|a small shock of electricity...
{47630}{47681}whenever an obscenity|is uttered.
{47683}{47764}Now, uh, wait a minute. This chip|somehow knows if the child is swearing?
{47765}{47861}lt's just like a lie detector.|Things happen to you when you|swear just like when you lie.
{47863}{47949}The chip picks up on this|and gives the subject a little prick.
{47951}{48024}Patient B-5, would you|step out here, please.
{48026}{48110}Patient B-5 here has been fitted|with the new V-chip.
{48112}{48159}- Ow, my head hurts.|- Don't worry about that.
{48161}{48229}Now, l want you|to say ""doggy.""
{48231}{48310}- ""Doggy.""|- Notice that nothing happens.
{48311}{48358}Now say ""Montana.""
{48359}{48406}- Montana.|- Good!
{48407}{48474}- Now ""pillow.""|- Pillow.
{48475}{48554}All right, now l want you|to say ""horse fucker.""
{48579}{48623}Go ahead, Eric.|lt's all right.
{48624}{48693}- Horsefu-- Aaah! Yiii!|- [ All Gasping ]
{48695}{48763}That hurt, godda-- Aiii!|Oww! Fuck-- Aaah!
{48764}{48836}Now l'd like you to say|""big floppy donkey dick.""
{48838}{48882}No!|Success!
{48884}{48928}The child doesn't|want to swear!
{48930}{48978}This isn't fair,|you sons of bitches-- Yaaaah!
{48980}{49086}- We will start putting V-chips|in all our children next week.|- [ Zapping, Screaming ]
{49088}{49128}[ Cheering ]
{49136}{49176}[ Announcer ]|Snacky Smores presents:
{49232}{49289}Let's hear it|for our boys in blue.
{49291}{49357}President Clinton has|called them to action to fight|the evil Canadian scourge.
{49359}{49419}A full-scale attack|has been launched on Toronto...
{49420}{49467}after the Canadians'|last bombing...
{49469}{49528}which took a horrible toll|on the Arquette family.
{49530}{49576}For security measures,|our great American government...
{49578}{49672}is rounding up all citizens|that have any Canadian blood|and putting them into camps.
{49674}{49754}All Canadian-American citizens|are to report to one of these|death camps right away.
{49756}{49802}Did l say ""death camps""?
{49804}{49869}l meant happy camps, where you|will eat the finest meals...
{49871}{49928}have access to fabulous doctors|and be able to exercise regularly.
{49930}{50026}Meanwhile, the war criminals|Terrance and Phillip|are prepped for their execution.
{50028}{50066}Their execution|will take place...
{50068}{50112}during a fabulous U.S.O. show...
{50114}{50157}with special guest celebrities|including:
{50212}{50311}Of course, the only way to see the|U.S.O. show is to sign up for the Army.
{50313}{50407}So join the Army and kill|some Canadian scum as we continue:
{50575}{50624}We must rid ourselves|of anything Canadian!
{50626}{50677}- [ Man ] Down with Canada!|- [ Woman ] Bomb them!
{50679}{50754}Dude, don't you like|Terrance and Phillip anymore?
{50756}{50847}Of course not. My mommy says|l hate Canadians now 'cause they|made me have a dirty mouth.
{50848}{50900}Burn it all!
{50902}{50950}- Hey, dudes.|- What's the matter, Cartman?
{50952}{51041}- lt's this V-chip. l hate it.|l can't say any dirty words.|- Really?
{51042}{51089}- So you can't say ""fuck""?|- No.
{51090}{51137}- And you can't say ""shit""?|- Nope.
{51138}{51208}So you can't say, ""l'm Cartman,|the fattest fucking piece of shit|in the world?""
{51210}{51260}- Fuck you-- Aaaaah!|- Dude! Sweet!
{51262}{51332}This has gone far enough.|lt's time we talked to our moms.
{51334}{51380}We're supposed|to be grounded.
{51382}{51438}Come on, Kyle.|lt's time for us to get political.
{51440}{51514}Canada will no longer|corrupt our children!
{51516}{51562}Mom, can l talk to you?
{51564}{51624}Kyle, what are you doing here?|You are grounded!
{51626}{51689}Now get back to the house|and stay there!
{51691}{51752}- You too, Stanley.|- Mom, we think you're going too far.
{51754}{51798}You can't kill|Terrance and Phillip.
{51800}{51846}We must fight for|our children's futures!
{51848}{51907}You're starting a war.|You have to stop it.
{51908}{51955}- To make them safe again!|- Hello?
{51956}{52009}- Our children are precious!|- Hello!
{52011}{52074}We must make a stand now!
{52076}{52124}Stop at nothing!
{52127}{52172}l told you my mom|wouldn't listen.
{52174}{52244}- Then we're gonna have to save|Terrance and Phillip ourselves.|- What? What?
{52246}{52292}What would Brian Boitano do?
{52294}{52364}He'd figure out a way to|rescue Terrance and Phillip|before they're executed.
{52366}{52423}We can't do anything.|Our moms' organization is too strong.
{52424}{52502}Then we'll round up all|the grounded kids in town|and start our own organization...
{52504}{52551}to help save|Terrance and Phillip.
{52552}{52605}Hey, yeah!|Our own secret club!
{52607}{52670}- l guess that could work.|- We have to try.
{52672}{52705}. What would Brian Boitano do .
{52707}{52745}. lf he was here right now .
{52747}{52791}. He'd make a plan|and he'd follow through .
{52792}{52830}. That's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{52832}{52870}. When Brian Boitano|was in the Olympics .
{52872}{52910}. Skating for the gold .
{52912}{52948}. He did two salchows|and a triple lutz .
{52950}{52994}. While wearing a blindfold .
{52995}{53034}. When Brian Boitano|was in the Alps .
{53036}{53070}. Fighting grizzly bears .
{53072}{53109}. He used his magical|fire breath .
{53111}{53156}. And saved|the maidens fair .
{53158}{53196}. So what would|Brian Boitano do .
{53197}{53232}. lf he were here today .
{53234}{53279}. l'm sure he'd kick|an ass or two .
{53281}{53322}. That's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{53324}{53401}. l want this V-chip|out of me .
{53403}{53475}. lt has stunted|my vocabulary .
{53477}{53563}. And l just want my mom|to stop fighting everyone .
{53564}{53603}. For Wendy|l'll be an activist too .
{53605}{53641}. 'Cause that what|Brian Boitano would do .
{53642}{53681}. And what would|Brian Boitano do .
{53683}{53723}. He'd call|all the kids in town .
{53725}{53768}. And tell them|to unite for truth .
{53770}{53810}. That's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{53812}{53877}- Did someone say my name?|- Who are you?
{53879}{53925}- l'm Brian Dennehy.|- What?
{53927}{53969}No, not fuckin'|Brian Dennehy!
{53970}{54010}Get the fuck outta here.
{54012}{54054}Oh. Bye.
{54056}{54130}. When Brian Boitano traveled|through time to the year 3010 .
{54132}{54180}. He fought|the evil robot king .
{54181}{54226}. And saved|the human race again .
{54228}{54292}. And when Brian Boitano|built the pyramids|he beat up Kublai Khan .
{54294}{54350}. 'Cause Brian Boitano|doesn't take shit .
{54352}{54409}. From anybody .
{54411}{54469}. So let's call|all the kids together .
{54471}{54507}. And unite to stop our moms .
{54508}{54547}. And we'll save|Terrance and Phillip too .
{54548}{54602}. 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{54604}{54631}. And we'll save|Terrance and Phillip too .
{54633}{54711}. 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{54712}{54772}. 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do ..
{54873}{54929}[ Saddam ]|Hey, relax, guy!
{54931}{54974}- [ Satan ] Oh, there's nothing on.|- [ TV, lndistinct ]
{54976}{55057}- You just get cranky|when you're tired, that's all.|- l'm not cranky!
{55059}{55152}What started as a spat between|the U.S. and Canada is quickly|turning into World War Three.
{55154}{55206}- [ Excitedly ] World War Three?|- Shh!
{55208}{55286}Terrance and Phillip are going to be put|to death for crimes against humanity.
{55288}{55334}- The time of execution has--|- [ Clicks TV Off ]
{55336}{55407}lt has come to be.|The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh.
{55408}{55477}The time of prophecy|is upon us!
{55479}{55564}l love when you get all biblical, Satan.|You know exactly how to turn my crank!
{55566}{55612}No, l'm being serious.
{55614}{55664}- lt is the seventh sign.|- What?
{55666}{55761}Behold, the first signs of my reign|have all come true.
{55763}{55830}The fall of an empire,|the coming of a comet...
{55831}{55928}and now, when the blood of these|Canadians touches American soil...
{55930}{56013}it will be our time to rise!
{56015}{56062}- [ Gasps ]|- Yeah! Yeah!
{56063}{56110}Man, l'm gettin' so hot!|Let's fuck!
{56111}{56202}Do you always think about sex?|l'm talking about|very important stuff here!
{56203}{56285}l'm just excited about|taking over the world! Come on!
{56287}{56357}ls sex the only thing|that matters to you?
{56358}{56403}l love you.
{56404}{56451}l want to believe that.
{56452}{56519}So what do you say you shut off|that light and get close, huh?
{56550}{56597}[ Rustling ]
{56598}{56645}- [ Squishy Plunging Sound ]|- [ Satan Groans ] Ohh. Oww.
{56647}{56698}[ Saddam ] Yeah, you like that,|don't you, bitch?
{56762}{56838}Okay, we can use my dad's computer|to call all the kids together.
{56840}{56901}Before we put a message out,|do a search on ""clitoris.""
{56903}{56960}Oh, okay.
{56962}{57042}- ""Found: Eight million pages|with the word 'clitoris.'""|- Wow!
{57044}{57119}l'll just try the first one.|""You must be 18 to enter this web site.""
{57121}{57192}Okay. ""Welcome to|German Sick Fetish Video.
{57193}{57240}lf you are under 18, do not--''
{57241}{57288}- Well, okay.|- [ Click ]
{57289}{57349}- .. [ Techno ]|- [ Man ] Du hast Scheisse gern.
{57351}{57422}- Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!|- Whoa! ls it Cartman's mom?
{57423}{57488}- Oh, very funny.|- Hey, it is Cartman's mom!
{57490}{57544}- Essen mein Scheisse!|- [ Cartman's Mom ]|All righty, then.
{57546}{57592}- Aw, son of a bit-- Aaaaah!|- [ Zapping ]
{57594}{57656}- Ba-ba-ba-bah!|- Get out of here, lke!|You're too young for this.
{57658}{57684}- [ Gurgling ] Bullshit.|- What's he doing now?
{57684}{57706}- [ Gurgling ] Bullshit.|- What's he doing now?
{57708}{57756}- [ Man ] Essen mein Scheisse!|- Okey-dokey!
{57758}{57799}[ Farting ]
{57801}{57848}- [ All Screaming ]|- [ German Continues ]
{57849}{57896}Click it off, dude!
{57897}{57955}What the fuck is wrong|with German people?
{57957}{58040}All right, let's just do|what we came here to do and|put a message out to kids.
{58041}{58114}l've gotta put out an all-access e-mail.|Goddamn, your mom sucks.
{58116}{58166}- Just get to the message board.|- l'm trying.
{58168}{58230}l can't find a Canadian server.|l've got to break into the mainframe.
{58232}{58315}Damn it, they've got an access code.|l'll try to reroute the encryptions.
{58402}{58469}Okay, here we go. ""Want to|help Terrance and Phillip?""
{58471}{58518}[ Kyle Reading ]
{58575}{58633}- Tell 'em we'll have punch and pie.|- We're not!
{58634}{58716}More people will come|if they think we have punch and pie!
{58766}{58852}""This is top secret.|The password is...""
{58854}{58909}La Resistance.
{58909}{58965}[ Radio Announcer ] And so the draft|will begin tomorrow...
{58967}{59035}as more and more troops are needed|to invade the Canadian border.
{59037}{59085}The Canadian government|pleads for a peaceful resolution...
{59087}{59140}but naturally,|we're not listening.
{59142}{59180}Good night, hon.
{59182}{59240}Mom, when is the war|gonna be over?
{59242}{59296}l don't know, hon.|Soon, we hope.
{59298}{59356}You want it|to end quickly, huh?
{59398}{59446}- Mom?|- Yes, hon?
{59448}{59542}lf you were in a German Scheisse video,|you'd tell me, right?
{59568}{59602}Sure, hon.|Good night!
{59684}{59751}[ Whooshing ]
{59752}{59802}[ Gasps ]
{59804}{59850}Aaaaaaah!
{59852}{59912}- Poltergeist!|- [ Muffled ]
{59914}{60012}- Kenny, is that you?|- [ Panicked, Muffled Chatter ]
{60014}{60081}- Satan? Satan is coming here?|- [ Continues Chattering ]
{60083}{60140}Saddam Hussein?|That doesn't make sense, Kenny!
{60142}{60198}- [ Angry, Muffled Reply ]|- Aaaaaaaah!
{60200}{60249}Eric!|Eric, what is it?
{60251}{60325}- l saw him! l saw Kenny!|- Oh, you poor dear.
{60327}{60370}You've been through so much.
{60371}{60440}l bet him he couldn't light a fart|on fire, and now he's all pissed off--
{60442}{60490}Aaaah! l can't say ""pissed off""?|Aaaah!
{60539}{60596}The execution of Terrance and Phillip|is imminent.
{60597}{60659}Soon Saddam and l|will rule the world.
{60661}{60708}[ Sinister Laughter ]
{60709}{60782}Hey, Satan! l got some new luggage|for our trip up to Earth!
{60783}{60838}Let's fuck to celebrate!
{60839}{60910}What's it like up on Earth, Saddam?|Tell me about it again.
{60911}{60958}Let's not talk.|Let's get busy!
{60959}{61062}When you first got here we used to talk|all night long until the sun came up.
{61063}{61122}We would just lie in bed|and talk.
{61123}{61194}Well, yeah, 'cause l was still waitin'|to get you in bed, dummy!
{61196}{61266}How come you always|want to make love to me from behind?
{61268}{61321}ls it because you want to pretend|l'm somebody else?
{61322}{61369}Satan. Your ass|is gigantic and red.
{61370}{61438}Who am l gonna pretend you are?|Liza Minnelli?
{61475}{61545}Aww, don't get all pissy!
{61586}{61633}[ Sighs ]
{61726}{61794}. Sometimes l think .
{61796}{61860}. When l look up real high .
{61861}{61942}. That there's such|a big world up there .
{61944}{62023}. l'd like to give it a try .
{62025}{62080}. But then l sink .
{62082}{62151}. 'Cause it's here|l'm supposed to stay .
{62152}{62220}. But l get|so lonely down here .
{62222}{62338}. Tell me, why does it|have to be that way .
{62339}{62406}. Up there|there is so much room .
{62407}{62475}. Where babies burp|and flowers bloom .
{62477}{62550}. Everyone dreams|l could dream too .
{62552}{62588}. Up there .
{62590}{62676}. Up where the skies|are ocean blue .
{62677}{62768}. l could be safe|and live without a care .
{62770}{62850}. Up there .
{62852}{62917}- . They say l don't belong .|- [ Backup Singers ]|. Oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh .
{62919}{62983}- . l must stay below alone .|- . Oooh-ooh .
{62984}{63039}. Because of my beliefs .
{63041}{63130}. l'm supposed to stay|where evil is sown .
{63132}{63206}- . Oooh ooh-ooh-oooh .|- . But what is evil anyway .
{63208}{63293}- . ls there reason to the rhyme .|- . Oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh .
{63295}{63330}. Without evil|there could be no good .
{63332}{63457}. So it must be good|to be evil sometimes .
{63458}{63532}. Up there|there is so much room .
{63534}{63620}. Where babies burp|and flowers bloom .
{63622}{63661}. Everyone dreams|l can dream too .
{63662}{63702}. Up there .
{63704}{63803}. Up where the skies|are ocean blue .
{63804}{63909}- . l could be safe|and live without a care .|- . Without a care .
{63911}{63980}- . Live without a care .|- . lf l could .
{63982}{64017}. lf only l could live .
{64019}{64084}[ Falsetto ]|. Up there .
{64086}{64156}. l wanna live|l wanna live up .
{64157}{64275}. Oooooh, yeah|Oooooh .
{64277}{64311}. l want to live .
{64312}{64419}. Up there ..
{64421}{64474}Ohhh!
{64646}{64726}- You're late, Cartman!|- l had to ride my bike here.|My behind is killing me.
{64727}{64793}- Your ""behind""?|- l had to say ""behind"" because|l'll get shocked if l say ass--
{64794}{64851}- Aaaaah!|- Did you bring the punch and pie?
{64853}{64899}No. You guys,|something happened.
{64901}{64946}l don't think Kenny's dead.
{64948}{64994}- What?|- l saw him in my room.
{64996}{65052}l know, Cartman.|l see Kenny every day.
{65054}{65121}- You do?|- Sure, dude.|On the face of every child.
{65122}{65169}On the smile|of every baby.
{65171}{65217}l'm telling you|this was Kenny!
{65219}{65277}He said that if|Terrance and Phillip die...
{65278}{65337}Saddam Hussein and Satan are gonna|come up and rule the world.
{65339}{65376}Saddam Hussein?
{65378}{65421}- [ Knocking On Door ]|- [ Gasps ]
{65482}{65557}- Who is it?|- [ Gregory Whispering ]|l'm here for La Resistance.
{65559}{65617}- What's the password?|- Uh, l don't know.
{65619}{65676}- Guess.|- Uh, bacon.
{65677}{65716}Okay.
{65754}{65824}Viva La Resistance.
{65826}{65896}- Oh, no! lt's that kid!|- This is the place.
{65898}{65965}- Wendy?|- Stan? You started La Resistance?
{65994}{66056}You're more political|than we thought.
{66058}{66121}Let us get this meeting underway.|There are others coming.
{66122}{66177}[ Chattering ]
{66179}{66252}Wow. A lot of people showed up.
{66254}{66348}Okay, uh, Terrance and Phillip|are supposed to be killed...
{66350}{66402}and we thinks|that sucks ass!
{66452}{66532}- Yes?|- Uh, we were to understand|there'd be pie and punch.
{66534}{66584}- There isn't any.|- Oh.
{66658}{66720}Uh, Terrance and Phillip|are supposed to be killed...
{66722}{66780}so we think we should prank-call|a bunch of policemen...
{66782}{66840}and have pizzas sent to them|that they didn't order.
{66842}{66888}Viva La Resistance!
{66890}{66953}- Oh-- [ Sighs ]|- Uh--
{66955}{66990}- May l?|- What?
{66992}{67038}Terrance and Phillip|are being held...
{67040}{67090}at a Canadian internment camp|two kilometers outside of town.
{67092}{67162}They are to be executed tomorrow|during a star-studded|U.S.O. show for the troops.
{67163}{67213}- Tomorrow?|- Once the show begins...
{67215}{67293}we have one hour to get Terrance|and Phillip out of their cell|and into this clearing.
{67295}{67375}There we will all rendezvous|and take Terrance and Phillip|safely back to Canada.
{67376}{67428}Wow, dude,|Wendy's new guy is smart.
{67430}{67477}Meet me at the rendezvous point|at precisely 10:00 p.m.
{67478}{67544}Sneaking in and breaking out|Terrance and Philip will be|the most dangerous part...
{67546}{67585}so l'll go myself.
{67607}{67672}- No. We're going.|- [ Gasp ]
{67674}{67746}We'll get Terrance and Phillip|and meet you at the rendezvous point.
{67748}{67795}This will be very dangerous.
{67796}{67845}- Are you quite sure?|- Fuck that-- Aaaah!
{67847}{67917}Cartman, do you want that V-chip|in you forever? We're going!
{67919}{67965}Now let's run through|the plan.
{68067}{68130}Now, uh,|when you shoot somebody...
{68132}{68190}go for someone wide open.
{68191}{68250}Oh, boy!|Military action, Ned!
{68251}{68313}Let's kill us|some goddamn Australians!
{68315}{68373}[ Voice Box ] l think|we're fighting Canadians.
{68374}{68422}Canadians, Australians.|What's the difference?
{68423}{68532}This uniform makes me feel like|a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat.
{68534}{68581}lt sure does,|Mr. Garrison.
{68582}{68715}l can't wait for our first|shore leave so l can get me|some fuckin' poontang.
{68717}{68818}Pay attention! Tomorrow night|is the U.S.O. show for all you troops.
{68820}{68904}There will be celebrities, followed by|the execution of Terrance and Phillip.
{68906}{68946}- Yeah!|- Whoo!
{68948}{69048}After the show, we will finally be|sending ground troops into Canada...
{69049}{69083}so let's strategize.
{69086}{69113}Map!
{69115}{69162}Our sources have told us...
{69163}{69256}that the Canadians are preparing for|our invasion, so we must use caution.
{69258}{69311}Each battalion has|a specific code name and mission.
{69313}{69359}Battalion Five,|raise your hands.
{69361}{69432}You will be the all-important|first attack wave...
{69433}{69492}which we will call|Operation Human Shield.
{69493}{69602}- Hey, wait a minute!|- Operation Human Shield|will suffer heavy losses.
{69604}{69653}Battalion 14?
{69654}{69720}Right. You are Operation|Get Behind The Darkies.
{69722}{69782}You will follow Battalion Five here|and try not to get killed.
{69784}{69847}Are there any questions, men?
{69849}{69937}- Yes, soldier?|- Have you ever heard of|the Emancipation Proclamation?
{69938}{70000}l don't listen to hip-hop.
{70002}{70092}After that we will march into|the heart of Canada, and we will--
{70093}{70136}[ Echoing ]|Comin' to get ya!
{70138}{70190}What's wrong with this thing?
{70192}{70241}Fuckin' Windows 98!
{70242}{70297}Get Bill Gates in here!
{70360}{70456}You told us Windows 98|would be faster and more efficient,|with better access to the lnternet!
{70458}{70509}lt is faster.|Over five million--
{70543}{70608}All right, men,|get lots of rest...
{70610}{70672}and prepare to go|into Canada!
{70725}{70795}After you have Terrance and Phillip,|make your way to this ridge.
{70797}{70883}We'll be there, but we cannot|wait long. lf you're not there|at 10:00, we will have to leave.
{70885}{70968}- Gotcha.|- You are indeed brave,|but you will need help.
{70969}{71020}Here is the address|of the Mole.
{71022}{71091}- The Mole?|- An expert in covert operations.|A mercenary for hire.
{71093}{71139}Your first task|will be obtaining him.
{71141}{71253}Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow we will|all be risking our lives for freedom.
{71255}{71366}[ Slow Tempo ]|. God has smiled upon you this day .
{71367}{71414}. The fate of a nation .
{71415}{71485}. ln your hands .
{71487}{71549}. And blessed be|the children .
{71551}{71616}. Who fight|with all our bravery .
{71618}{71736}. Till only|the righteous stand .
{71738}{71813}. You see the distant flames|They bellow in the night .
{71815}{71900}. You fight in all our names|for what we know is right .
{71902}{71984}. And when you all get shot|and cannot carry on .
{71985}{72057}. Though you die|La Resistance lives on .
{72059}{72137}. You may get stabbed in the head|with a dagger or a sword .
{72138}{72216}. You may be burned to death|or skinned alive or worse .
{72218}{72291}. But when they torture you|you will not feel the need to run .
{72293}{72365}. For though you die|La Resistance lives on .
{72367}{72441}. Blame Canada|Blame Canada .
{72443}{72470}. Because the country's|gone awry .
{72471}{72519}. Tomorrow night|these freaks will fry .
{72546}{72583}. Tomorrow night .
{72584}{72622}. Our lives will change .
{72624}{72656}. Tomorrow night .
{72658}{72697}. We'll be entertained .
{72698}{72737}. An execution .
{72739}{72788}. What a sight|Tomorrow night .
{72790}{72817}. Up there|there is so much room .
{72818}{72858}. Where babies burp|and flowers bloom .
{72860}{72895}. Tomorrow night|up there is doomed .
{72896}{72936}. And so l will be|going soon .
{72938}{72998}. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{73000}{73073}. You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker .
{73075}{73116}. Looks like|we may be out of luck .
{73118}{73161}. Tomorrow night|we're pretty fucked .
{73163}{73192}. Why did our mothers|start this war .
{73193}{73228}. What the fuck|are they fighting for .
{73229}{73272}. When did this song|become a marathon .
{73274}{73332}- . l want to be .|- . When Canada is dead and gone .
{73334}{73372}- . Up there .|- . There'll be no more Celine Dion .
{73374}{73422}- . They might cut your dick in half .|- . Tomorrow night .
{73424}{73462}- . And serve it to a pig .|- . Our lives will change .
{73464}{73499}- . And though it hurts you'll laugh .|- . Tomorrow night .
{73501}{73527}- . And dance a dickless jig .|- . We'll be entertained .
{73529}{73555}. But that's|the way it goes .
{73557}{73606}. ln war|you're shat upon .
{73608}{73673}- . l want to be .|- . Though you die|La Resistance lives on .
{73675}{73733}.. [ All Songs Climaxing|Simultaneously ]
{73735}{73808}. Blame Canada|Blame Canada .
{73810}{73860}- . Blame Canada ..|- . Tomorrow night ..|- . On ..
{73982}{74029}Oh, boy!|l'm so excited!
{74030}{74101}Just one more day until we can|take over the world!
{74102}{74184}- l don't know if l can sleep,|if you know what l mean.|- This book is really interesting.
{74186}{74245}lt talks about how people|communicate differently.
{74246}{74316}Like, l communicate by wanting you|to ask me questions...
{74318}{74388}- and you communicate--|- Hey, that is interesting.|Let's fuck!
{74390}{74460}Saddam, l'm trying to have|a nice conversation with you.
{74462}{74508}- Hey, Satan.|- Ohh!
{74510}{74556}Now, that is|just not appropriate!
{74558}{74617}Aw, come on. l'm just|fuckin' with you. lt's not real.
{74618}{74665}Oh. Well, that's|still not appropriate.
{74667}{74708}- Hey, Satan--|- Ohh!
{74710}{74791}Ha-ha! lt's not real either!|Come on, guy!
{74793}{74846}[ Sobbing ]
{74848}{74901}- [ Muffled ] What's wrong?|- Oh! [ Sniffles ]
{74903}{74950}[ Halfhearted Cackling ]
{74951}{75012}Soon the world|will belong to me.
{75014}{75067}[ Muffled ]|No, what's wrong, dude?
{75069}{75152}lt's Saddam.|He doesn't nurture my emotions.
{75154}{75239}He just wants sex|and can't learn to communicate.
{75241}{75288}- [ Muffled Reply ]|- You're right.
{75290}{75333}l should leave him.
{75335}{75405}l'm just gonna tell him: ""Saddam,|l'm going to Earth to rule alone.""
{75407}{75453}l'm strong,|and l don't need him!
{75455}{75486}[ Muffled ]|Good for you!
{75578}{75630}[ Call ]|. Today's the day for the U.S.O. show .
{75632}{75674}[ Response ]|. We're so happy we get to go .
{75674}{75732}[ Call ]|. l don't know but l been told .
{75734}{75773}[ Response ]|. Canadian pussy is mighty cold ..
{75775}{75821}lke, you have to stay|in the attic.
{75823}{75876}lf they find you, they'll put you|in a Canadian concentration camp.
{75909}{75968}Don't worry.|We're gonna put an end to this.
{75969}{76051}Then l'll make Mom come home,|and we'll all be a family again.
{76134}{76202}[ Babbling ]|Home.
{76376}{76446}.. [ Blues ]
{76484}{76530}[ Knocking ]
{76532}{76569}[ French Accent ]|'Allo?
{76571}{76630}Hi. We need to speak|with the Mole.
{76632}{76681}l'm sorry.|The Mole is grounded.
{76682}{76728}He can't come out and play.
{76730}{76759}- What?|- He's a kid?
{76761}{76816}He said very naughty things|about God.
{76818}{76877}Well, can we just talk to him|for five seconds, please?
{76879}{76942}Well, all right.|Cristoph!
{76986}{77070}Hi. We're gonna rescue Terrance and|Phillip from the U.S.O. show and we--
{77072}{77158}- [ French Accent ] Shh!|Who are you? Who sent you?|- That Gregory kid.
{77160}{77218}You intend to break|into the U.S.O. show...
{77219}{77266}filled with thousands|of soldiers...
{77267}{77314}and break out|Terrance and Phillip?
{77315}{77386}- l thought it was a stupid idea too.|- We're La Resistance.
{77387}{77458}We want to save Terrance and Phillip|and stop the war and stuff.
{77459}{77506}l can't help you.|l'm grounded.
{77507}{77565}So are we. Our parents|think we're home right now.
{77567}{77629}- Why are you grounded?|- Why? Because God|hates me, that's why.
{77631}{77677}He has made my life miserable...
{77679}{77749}so l call him a cock-sucking asshole,|and l get grounded.
{77751}{77797}- So, will you help us?|- Very well.
{77799}{77869}Meet me in the backyard in five minutes.|Viva La Resistance.
{77871}{77942}- We'll show God we're not gonna|fucking take anymore of His--|- [ Mother ] What?
{77943}{78006}- Cristoph, get in here!|- Coming, Mother.
{78010}{78079}l must be strong.|l must be strong.
{78105}{78153}Saddam, l need|to talk to you.
{78154}{78201}Hey, you'd better|get packin', bitch!
{78202}{78260}- We have to go!|We're running out of time!|- [ Sighs ]
{78262}{78324}Saddam, sometimes you can|love a person very much...
{78326}{78379}but still know|they aren't right for you.
{78381}{78462}- What the fuck are you talking about?|- You treat me like shit!
{78464}{78535}l'm leaving you.|l'm going up to Earth to rule alone.
{78536}{78601}[ Gasps ] No!|No, you can't do that!
{78602}{78659}l'm sorry,|but l have to be strong.
{78661}{78727}Satan, please, give me another chance!|l have to go to Earth!
{78728}{78799}-You don't even have any respect for me.|-Ah, sure l do, guy.
{78800}{78853}Please, just hear me out.
{78926}{79004}. Some people say|that l'm a bad guy .
{79006}{79048}. They may be right .
{79050}{79107}. They may be right .
{79109}{79176}. But it's not|as if l don't try .
{79178}{79209}. l just fuck up .
{79210}{79248}. Try as l might .
{79250}{79310}. But l can change|l can change .
{79312}{79388}. l can learn to keep my promises|l swear it .
{79390}{79436}. l'll open up my heart|and l will share it .
{79437}{79509}. Any minute now|l will be born again .
{79511}{79575}. Yes, l can change|l can change .
{79577}{79639}- . l know l've been|a dirty little bastard .|- . La-la-la, la-la-la-la .
{79641}{79678}. l like to kill|l like to maim .
{79679}{79741}. Yes, l'm insane, but it's okay|'cause l can change .
{79771}{79832}. lt's not my fault|that l'm so evil .
{79834}{79873}. lt's society .
{79875}{79917}. Society .
{79919}{79976}. You see, my parents|were sometimes abusive .
{79978}{80035}. And it made|a prick of me .
{80036}{80095}. But l can change|l can change .
{80097}{80148}. What if you remain|a sandy little butthole .
{80150}{80187}Hey, Satan!
{80189}{80242}. Don't be such a twit|Mother Teresa won't have shit on me .
{80244}{80309}. Just watch, just watch me change ..|Here l go! l'm changing!
{80508}{80542}Hey!
{80571}{80638}Hut! Hut!|Hut! Hut! Hut!
{80830}{80879}Ah.
{80881}{80928}You see?|l've really matured.
{80929}{80988}- Oh, all right.|- All right!
{80989}{81061}- Come on. We have to hurry.|- l love ya.
{81130}{81215}- .. [ Fanfare ]|- [ Emcee ] Ladies and gentlemen|of the American army...
{81217}{81297}welcome to the U.S.O. show!
{81299}{81389}Get ready for loads of entertainment|and fabulous celebrities...
{81391}{81467}followed immediately by the nasty|execution of Terrance and Phillip!
{81469}{81531}- .. [ Continues ]|- [ Cheering Continues ]
{81557}{81596}This is the U.S.O. show...
{81598}{81675}where those military bitches|intend to kill Terrance and Phillip.
{81677}{81748}- Oh, my God!|- God? He is the biggest|bitch of them all.
{81749}{81828}We have to hurry. We rendezvous|with the other kids at 10:00.
{81861}{81895}You realize|that by doing this...
{81897}{81943}we could be grounded for two,|perhaps even three weeks.
{81945}{82013}- We're willing to take that risk.|- [ Mole ] Then let's go.
{82015}{82074}[ Emcee ] And now,|here are your hosts for the evening...
{82076}{82158}Sheila Broflovski|and Big Gay Al!
{82159}{82200}.. [ Fanfare ]
{82202}{82249}Al, tonight|is a very special night.
{82251}{82322}- Do you know why?|- Ooh! They're having a sale at Merv's?
{82323}{82363}[ Laughter, Cheering ]
{82365}{82423}No. Because we're going|to abolish Canadian smut.
{82424}{82509}That's right, Sheila!|Bring out the condemned!
{82612}{82688}[ Sheila ]|Today is a great day for democracy!
{82724}{82778}Oh, Phillip, this is worse|than that night l fell asleep...
{82780}{82837}and you put your dick in my mouth|and took a picture.
{82838}{82876}l know, Terrance. l know.
{82878}{82949}Well, Sheila, while you're|getting set up over there...
{82950}{82997}let's bring out|our first act...
{82998}{83048}Yippie, the back-flipping dog!
{83049}{83096}- .. [ Circus ]|- [ Yipping ]
{83332}{83403}Be careful|not to touch this wire.
{83405}{83450}- Aaah! Motherfu--|- [ Zapping ]
{83451}{83498}Aaah! Fuck-- Aaah!
{83499}{83570}- [ Muffled Swearing ]|- [ Zapping Continues ]
{83631}{83696}Shit. The U.S.O show has started.|We are running out of time.
{83697}{83745}Do you see|Terrance and Phillip?
{83747}{83779}Yes, but they are|heavily guarded.
{83822}{83892}We have to dig from here|so as not to be seen. Come on, bitches.
{83925}{83996}- Hey, Mole, you know|where the clitoris is?|- The what?
{83997}{84068}l have to find the clitoris so l can|get this Wendy girl to like me again.
{84069}{84139}You need to stop|thinking with your dick!|You have to be on your toes!
{84141}{84211}Because l am not going|to be grounded again!|Not for you, not for anybody!
{84213}{84299}Men, when you're out there|in the battlefield...
{84301}{84363}and you're looking into the beady eyes|of a Canadian...
{84365}{84431}as he charges you with his hockey stick,|or whatever he has...
{84432}{84482}and people are dying|all around you...
{84484}{84548}just remember|what the M.P.A.A. says:
{84549}{84680}Horrific, deplorable violence|is okay, as long as people|don't say any naughty words!
{84681}{84753}That is what this war|is all about!
{84755}{84805}- [ Cheering ]|- What?
{84869}{84941}- Shit.|- [ Soldiers Chattering ]
{84942}{84996}Move. Move.
{84998}{85046}Okay, we will split up here.
{85048}{85127}- Let's synchronize watches.|- We don't have watches.
{85129}{85187}- You don't have watches?|- Dude, you didn't say anything|about watches.
{85189}{85236}What do you think this is,|TV kiddie hour...
{85237}{85296}where we all sit around and lick|Barney the Dinosaur's pussy?
{85297}{85344}This is real life with consequences|you take to the grave!
{85345}{85407}- Dude, we don't have watches!|- Shit. Did you bring the mirror?
{85409}{85452}- Got it. Check.|- And the rope?
{85454}{85501}- And the ""butt for""?|- What's a ""butt for""?
{85502}{85549}For pooping, silly.
{85578}{85631}Listen carefully.|l will dig under the stage.
{85633}{85683}With that bedrock,|l will need more time.
{85685}{85751}Stan and Kyle,|stall the show any way you can.
{85752}{85812}Keep that show going|until l get the prisoners.
{85813}{85875}- Okay.|- Cartman, over there|is the electrical box.
{85877}{85943}You must shut it off before l return|with Terrance and Phillip...
{85945}{86006}or the alarms will sound|and l will be attacked by guard dogs.
{86008}{86037}- Got it?|- Okay.
{86039}{86101}You must shut off the alarms.|l fucking hate guard dogs.
{86103}{86161}l heard you the first time,|you British piece of shit-- Aaaah!
{86162}{86227}lf anything goes wrong,|make a sound like a dying giraffe.
{86229}{86267}What's a dying giraffe|sound like?
{86268}{86329}[ lmitates Giraffe Bleating ]
{86331}{86389}- 'Kay.|- Let's go.
{86390}{86430}- Be careful, dude.|- ""Careful""?
{86432}{86518}Was my mother careful when|she stabbed me in the heart|with a clothes hanger...
{86520}{86579}while l was still|in the womb?
{86654}{86701}Damn, dude,|that kid is fucked up.
{86702}{86803}- How are those chairs coming, Sheila?|- Al, we're minutes away.
{86804}{86925}Super! ln the meantime,|here's pint-sized pixie and darling|of the indie movie scene...
{86927}{86985}Winona Ryder!
{86987}{87035}- Hi, guys!|- Yea!
{87037}{87084}l'm super-psyched|to be here today.
{87086}{87174}What you're doing|for our country is so cool.
{87176}{87261}l mean, war, man.|Wow. War.
{87262}{87319}You know? Wow.
{87321}{87450}Okay! And now for your enjoyment,|here's my famous Ping-Pong ball trick!
{87524}{87570}[ Popping ]
{87637}{87685}Oh, my!
{87686}{87781}[ lmitating Mole ]|""Shut off the power, Cartman.|This is very important, Cartman.""
{87783}{87850}- Dude, did you hear|what Winona Ryder's doing?|- Oh, we can't miss this!
{87877}{87953}[ Popping Continues ]
{87955}{88067}There, l didn't miss one.|That's my Ping-Pong ball trick!
{88069}{88134}- .. [ Coda ]|- Eh-heh.
{88138}{88214}Well, that's all the acts|we have for you tonight...
{88216}{88275}so let's just get on|with the execution!
{88277}{88328}- [ Crowd Cheering ]|- Oh, no. We have to stall him.
{88330}{88397}- More! More!|- [ All ] Yeah, more!
{88399}{88471}Oh, you big sillies!|You want to see more of me?
{88473}{88530}- Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!|- [ Cheering ]
{88531}{88592}[ All ]|Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!
{88594}{88699}Well, l do have a little song|l wrote about the war.|Oh, but we haven't rehearsed.
{88701}{88751}- Sing it!|- [ All ] Yeah, sing it!
{88753}{88825}- Oh, l can't.|- [ Kyle ] Sing the fucking song!
{88827}{88895}Well, all right.|lf you insist, l'll sing my song.
{88897}{88953}l believe it goes|a little bit like this.
{89011}{89108}. Bombs are flying|People are dying .
{89110}{89204}. Children are crying|Politicians are lying too .
{89206}{89304}. Cancer is killing|Texaco's spilling .
{89306}{89392}. The whole world's gone to hell|But how are you .
{89420}{89493}. l'm super|Thanks for asking .
{89495}{89569}. All things considered|l couldn't be better l must say .
{89571}{89605}. l'm feeling super|No, nothing bugs me .
{89605}{89653}. l'm feeling super|No, nothing bugs me .
{89655}{89701}. Everything is super|when you're .
{89703}{89754}. Don't you think|l look cute in this hat .
{89802}{89872}. l'm so sorry|Mr. Cripple .
{89874}{89943}. But l just can't feel too bad|for you right now .
{89945}{90022}. Because l'm feeling|so insanely super .
{90024}{90103}. That even the fact that you|can't walk can't bring me down .
{90105}{90178}[ Chorus ]|. He's super|Thanks for asking .
{90179}{90254}. All things considered|he couldn't be better he must say .
{90256}{90319}. l'm super|No, nothing bugs me .
{90321}{90376}- Whoo!|- . Everything is super when you're .
{90378}{90438}. Don't you think|l look cute in this hat|These little pants .
{90440}{90487}. This matching tie|that l got at Merv's .
{90488}{90552}- . l'm super .|- . He's in the barracks|and the trenches as well .
{90554}{90634}- Stick 'em up!|- . Big Gay Al says|Do ask, do tell .
{90635}{90706}- Diddles!|- . Yes, he's super|and he's proud to be fey .
{90708}{90792}- Okay?|- . Everything is super when you're .
{90794}{90870}. Gay .
{90906}{90956}. When you're gay ..
{90958}{91024}- [ Cheering ]|- [ Together ] Again! Again!
{91170}{91263}- [ Beeping ]|- Wh-- Who's there? l--
{91265}{91324}- [ Muffled ]|- Son of a gun! Heck!
{91326}{91376}- [ Continues, Muffled ]|- They're coming?
{91411}{91491}- But our moms won't listen to us!|- [ Muffled Yelling ]
{91492}{91564}Aa-aa-aah!
{91600}{91646}Okay, everybody.
{91648}{91732}Just want to take a minute to|thank our wonderful sponsors--|[ Continues, lndistinct ]
{91734}{91790}- He's almost got 'em.|- Shh! We are here to rescue you.
{91791}{91863}- After l release you,|follow me through the tunnel.|- Hey, guys, seriously--
{91864}{91911}- What, Cartman?|- Kenny-- l saw Kenny again.
{91912}{92022}- Did you shut the alarm off,|Cartman? Cartman?|- Whoops.
{92024}{92088}- [ Alarm Blaring ]|- Oh, shit!|[ lmitates Dying Giraffe ]
{92089}{92157}Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like|a giraffe is dying over there.
{92157}{92209}- [ Light Clicks ]|- Aah! Shit!
{92211}{92258}- A spy!|- Get him!
{92260}{92325}- [ Barking ]|- Shit! Shit!
{92327}{92380}- [ Yipping ]|- Oh, no.
{92413}{92484}- Come on, Mole. Come on.|- Shit! Shit!
{92485}{92572}- [ Barking Continues ]|- Fucking guard dogs! Shit!|The alarms-- they went off.
{92574}{92683}- Yeah, that was my bad. Sorry.|- [ Coughing ]|Hold me. lt's so very cold.
{92685}{92750}- There is no hope now.|You must get out of here.|- We can't leave without you.
{92752}{92840}- lt's okay. l'm done for.|- No, we can't leave without you.|We don't know where we are!
{92842}{92962}Where is your God when you|need him? Huh? Where is your|beautiful, merciful faggot now?
{92964}{93050}[ Coughs ] Here l come, God.|Here l come, you fucking rat. [ Coughs ]
{93052}{93121}. Now the light, she fades .
{93122}{93198}. And darkness settles in .
{93199}{93265}- . But l will find strength .|- No, Mole. Hang on.
{93267}{93334}- . l will find pride within .|- We'll get you home.
{93336}{93402}- . Because although l die .|- l can't face my mother.
{93404}{93483}- . Our freedom will be won .|- Not alone.
{93484}{93542}. Though l die .
{93544}{93624}. La Resistance lives .
{93626}{93687}. On ..|[ Death Rattle ]
{93915}{93961}Shit!
{93963}{94071}Okay, folks, here it is,|the moment we've all been|waiting for: the execution!
{94073}{94151}[ Cheering ]
{94184}{94262}- The day is ours!|- Super!
{94264}{94324}Oh, no, dude, it's happening.|We have to tell them about|Saddam Hussein and Satan.
{94326}{94372}No way, dude.|My mom can't see me here.
{94374}{94420}Kyle, you have to stand up|to your mother. Come on.
{94422}{94501}Gentlemen, do you have|any last words?
{94503}{94591}Last words? Let's see. How's aboot,|""Get me the fuck out of this chair""?
{94592}{94667}- How's that for last words?|- All right, Anonymous.
{94669}{94716}Ready the switch!
{94718}{94764}- Wait!|- Stanley!
{94766}{94805}- Eric!|- Kyle!
{94834}{94911}- Go on, dude, tell her.|- l-- l can't.
{94913}{94958}You can't kill|Terrance and Phillip.
{94960}{95024}lf they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein|are gonna come take over the world.
{95061}{95107}[ All Laughing ]
{95138}{95191}Throw the switch,|Mr. Garrison.
{95192}{95258}Hey, l'm supposed|to be anonymous.
{95260}{95331}- [ Both Scream ]|- Good-bye, bastards!
{95332}{95384}- No!|- [ Terrance Farts ]
{95385}{95438}- [ Both Laughing ]|- [ Cheering ]
{95538}{95591}The Canadians are attacking!|Run for your lives!
{95627}{95692}Come on!|We have to shut off the power!
{95693}{95738}Ow! Fuck! Aiiiee!
{95764}{95815}Hey!|Some little fat kid saved us!
{95817}{95884}Hey, you guys!|Shut it down!
{95924}{95968}- [ Soldier Screams ]|- Shit!
{95969}{96024}Terrance and Phillip, wait! We have|to get you to the rendezvous point!
{96026}{96096}[ All Screaming ]
{96135}{96181}Ned, behind you!
{96342}{96388}- Hey-ohhh!|- Ouch!
{96429}{96475}[ Yipping ]
{96615}{96673}[ Female Voice ]|Be not afraid.
{96674}{96754}- Oh, my God!|- Behold my glory.
{96755}{96840}- What... are you?|- l am the Clitoris.
{96841}{96900}The Clitoris? l did it!|l found the Clitoris!
{96902}{97009}Stan, you must not let|Terrance and Phillip's blood|be spilled on the ground.
{97011}{97062}Wait. You're supposed to tell me|how to get Wendy to like me.
{97063}{97115}There are more important matters|right now.
{97117}{97202}No way, dude. l looked all over|for you, and now you have to tell me|how to get Wendy to like me.
{97204}{97262}Dude, you just have to have|confidence in yourself.
{97264}{97324}Believe in yourself|and others will believe in you.
{97326}{97379}Chicks love confidence.
{97380}{97449}Now go. Hurry.|The Clitoris has spoken.
{97449}{97510}Stan!|Stan, are you okay?
{97512}{97583}l see you've failed in your|mission. l should not have|sent a boy to do a man's job.
{97633}{97700}Come on, everyone.|We've got precious little time.
{97768}{97847}- Die, Canadian, m'kay?|- [ Grunts ]
{97894}{97979}- Did you hear that,|Terrance? l farted.|- You did? Just now?
{97980}{98027}[ Both Cackling ]
{98028}{98100}- Terrance and Phillip!|- We have to get you|to the rendezvous point!
{98101}{98148}- [ Cartman ] Hey, it's Mr. Garrison.|- [ Coughs ]
{98149}{98278}Children, take M-Mr. Hat, please.|Get him out of here.
{98279}{98364}Holy shit! Yaagh!|Hey, this V-chip is getting all screwy!
{98366}{98412}Take cover in the trench!
{98414}{98508}Human Shield up front,|then Operation Get Behind The Darkies.
{98510}{98607}Remember, Human Shield,|protect our tanks and planes too.
{98712}{98778}- Holy Mother of Jehoshaphat!|- Fire on my command!
{98780}{98838}All right, squad.|Just like l told you.
{98863}{98924}One... two...
{98925}{98987}- ls some people gonna die?|- Fire!
{98989}{99069}- three!|- What in the--
{99071}{99155}- Great plan, Chef.|- Operation Human Shield, my ass!
{99225}{99277}My God. This is terrible.
{99279}{99347}This is what we wanted.
{99349}{99426}We wanted our children to be brought up|in a smut-free environment.
{99427}{99475}[ Stan's Mom ]|But we didn't want this!
{99476}{99523}Where are you going?
{99524}{99576}We're going to find our boys.
{99577}{99667}For God's sake, Sheila,|we're going to get them killed!
{99797}{99886}Kyle, all those times l said you were|a big, dumb Jew-- l didn't mean it.
{99888}{99935}- You're not a Jew.|- [ Man Screams ]
{99937}{99990}Yes, l am!|l am a Jew, Cartman!
{99992}{100056}No, no, Kyle.|Don't be so hard on yourself.
{100058}{100118}What the hell am l|still holding this for?
{100120}{100187}- [ Mr. Garrison ] Mr. Hat! No-o-o!|- Fuck this, dude!
{100188}{100248}- l'm getting out of here before|l get in really big trouble!|- l heard that!
{100250}{100309}- Stan!|- Dude, l found the Clitoris.
{100311}{100363}Now l think l can get Wendy|to like me again.
{100365}{100424}- Oh, that's swell, Stan.|- Yeah, l guess all's well|that ends well, huh?
{100425}{100496}- We can go home now. You dipshit!|- Ow!
{100498}{100575}- What's wrong with this thing?|- Come on. We can't let|Terrance and Phillip die...
{100577}{100627}or else the whole world's|gonna end!
{100657}{100708}- Terrance, look!|- There they are!
{100710}{100781}- Oh, Phillip! We're done for!|- All right, men-- fire!
{100781}{100803}- Oh, Phillip! We're done for!|- All right, men-- fire!
{100805}{100855}- Good-bye, Terrance.|- [ Weapons Cocking ]
{100960}{101014}- What is this?|- Don't shoot.
{101015}{101118}l'll take care of this.|Kids, get out of the way now!
{101232}{101313}- Kyle!|- l'm not gonna let you kill them, Mom.
{101315}{101389}- What, what, what?|- l'm not moving.
{101391}{101437}- Yeah. Uh-huh.|- Me too.
{101439}{101522}Stand down, children. You can still|see fart jokes on Nickelodeon.
{101523}{101584}No! This is about|more than fart jokes.
{101586}{101645}This is about freedom of speech,|about censorship...
{101646}{101701}and... stuff.
{101703}{101786}What about lke? Huh, Mom?|Did you forget that your own|adopted son is Canadian?
{101788}{101834}[ Soldiers Gasp ]
{101836}{101914}l'm-- l-l-l'm doing|very important things.
{101916}{101977}But, Mom, you never took|the time to talk to me.
{101979}{102058}Whenever l get in trouble,|you go off and blame everybody else.
{102060}{102118}But l'm the one to blame.|Deal with me.
{102119}{102220}You keep going off|and fighting all these causes,|but l don't want a fighter.
{102221}{102279}l want my Mom.
{102336}{102389}[ Sobbing ]|Poor little fella!
{102390}{102447}No-o-o!
{102449}{102514}- [ Gunshot ]|- Terrance!
{102516}{102596}- Holy shit, dude!|- Young man, you watch your mouth!
{102680}{102764}[ All Screaming ]
{102766}{102847}[ Roaring ]|My time has come!
{102849}{102906}You are really fucked now!
{102908}{102967}lt's Saddam Hussein!|Shoot him!
{102969}{103026}[ Laughing ]|What a dumb-ass!
{103048}{103118}[ Fearful Yelping ]
{103120}{103254}You have spilled the blood|of the innocent. Now begins|two million years of darkness.
{103256}{103315}Oh, good job, Mrs. Broflovski.|Thanks a lot.
{103316}{103398}l was just trying to make the world|a better place for children.
{103400}{103485}Yeah! And you|brought enough intolerance|to the world to allow my coming.
{103487}{103558}Now, everyone,|bow down to me!
{103581}{103658}[ Laughing ]|Yeah! Bend over!
{103660}{103779}- Oh, what have we done?|- Saddam, l'm the dark ruler, not you.
{103781}{103822}Relax, bitch.|You're better seen, not heard.
{103824}{103889}- [ Muffled ] Satan,|you gotta do something!|- l can't.
{103891}{104005}Let's start by building a big|statue of me, right over there|where that fat kid is standing.
{104007}{104066}Hey! Don't call me fat,|butt-fucker!
{104068}{104126}[ Groaning ]
{104208}{104255}Yeah, Cartman.|Do it!
{104257}{104333}Damn! Shit!|Respect my fuckin' authorit-ay!
{104334}{104389}- Aah!|- Yipe.
{104391}{104448}Hey! You need to|watch your mouth, brat!
{104450}{104515}Dogshit taco!
{104517}{104613}Aah! Uhhh!
{104614}{104686}- Quick, Satan! Do something!|- Try this on for size.
{104718}{104790}Blood-drenched|frozen tampon Popsicle!
{104792}{104844}[ Yelping ]
{104846}{104955}Hey, buddy, l know l was mean before.|But don't worry-- l can change.
{104957}{105008}- Oh!|- Okay...
{105035}{105110}- [ All Gasp ]|- Not! [ lnhales Deeply ]
{105112}{105194}Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties,|boner, bitch, muff, pussy...
{105196}{105265}cock, butthole,|Barbra Streisand!
{105267}{105325}[ Screaming ]
{105395}{105474}What are you waiting for, bitch?|Destroy him!
{105476}{105529}Come on, you weak, stupid cum bucket!|Save me!
{105531}{105653}That's it!|l have had enough of you!
{105655}{105701}[ Screaming ]
{105703}{105765}Hey, guy! Relax!
{105811}{105857}Gaah!|[ Groans ]
{105964}{106058}He spent so much time convincing me|l was weak and stupid...
{106060}{106128}that l...|believed it myself.
{106129}{106252}l have you to thank, little one.|You showed me that l had to|get away from him.
{106253}{106330}Just make any wish you want|and l shall grant it.
{106331}{106401}- [ Muffled ]|- [ All Gasp ]
{106403}{106453}- Are you sure, Kenny?|- What did he say?
{106455}{106557}He said that his wish is for|everything to go back the way|it was before this horrible war.
{106559}{106643}Kenny, you realize that means|you'd go back too.
{106645}{106721}[ Muffled ] l know.|[ Continues, lndistinct ]
{106876}{106953}Well, very well, then.|l will pull all my minions back.
{106955}{107057}l'm guess l'm destined|to live in hell... alone.
{107059}{107134}Hello. What's this?
{107136}{107191}Hi there, little guy.
{107193}{107255}Would you like to go|to Hell with me?
{107257}{107345}Sure. l bet we could be|best friends, Mr. Satan.
{107347}{107411}Feel free to come back and visit us|anytime you want, Satan.
{107413}{107465}l just might do that.
{107467}{107540}- Thank you, Kenny.|- Yeah, thanks for going back to|Hell for us. You're a real pal.
{107671}{107717}Good-bye, you guys.
{107787}{107833}[ Demons Screeching ]
{107979}{108063}l-- l'm alive.|Where's Mr. Hat?
{108065}{108162}Wow. We were all dying,|and now we're fine. That's super!
{108164}{108227}What the fuck's going on?
{108303}{108409}You see, Mom? After all that,|it was Cartman's filthy fucking|mouth that saved us all.
{108411}{108485}l'm sorry l didn't|pay attention to you, Kyle. Mm-mm!
{108487}{108543}- Mm-mm!|- Blee-aagh!
{108545}{108631}- But, Wendy, what about Gregory?|- Oh, Stan, l never really cared|for Gregory.
{108633}{108706}- You didn't?|- No, dude. Fuck Gregory!|Fuck him right in the ear!
{108708}{108751}Yea! Thank you, Clitoris.
{108753}{108842}. Everything worked out|What a happy end .
{108844}{108943}. Americans and Canadians|are friends again .
{108945}{109043}- . So let's all join hands|and knock oppression down .|- . Good Lordy, l'm found .
{109045}{109114}. Don't you know|Our little lives are now complete .
{109116}{109194}- . 'Cause Terrance|and Phillip are sweet .|- . Super sweet .
{109196}{109278}. Thank God we live|in this quiet, little .
{109280}{109349}. Pissant, redneck|podunk, jerkwater .
{109350}{109410}. Greenhorn, one-horse|mudhole, peckerwood .
{109412}{109469}. Right-wing, whistle-stop|hobnail, truck-driving .
{109471}{109523}. Old-fashioned, hayseed|inbred, unkempt .
{109525}{109580}. Out-of-date, out-of-touch|white-trash, kick-ass .
{109582}{109693}. Mountain .
{109694}{109813}. Town ..
{109815}{109861}Look!
{110222}{110272}. Brian, skate .
{110298}{110344}. Brian, skate .
{110346}{110417}. What would Brian Boitano do|if he was here right now .
{110419}{110457}. He'd make a plan|and he'd follow through .
{110459}{110509}. That's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{110562}{110608}. Brian, skate .
{110634}{110680}. Brian, fight .
{110682}{110750}. When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics|skating for the gold .
{110752}{110824}. He did two salchows and a triple lutz|wearing a blindfold .
{110825}{110900}. When Brian Boitano was in the Alps|fighting grizzly bears .
{110902}{110980}. He used his magical fire breath|and saved the maidens fair .
{111006}{111052}. Brian, skate .
{111077}{111124}. Brian, yeah .
{111125}{111192}. So what would Brian Boitano do|if he was here today .
{111193}{111233}. l'm sure he'd kick|an arse or two .
{111235}{111285}. That's what|Brian Boitano'd do .
{111341}{111387}. Brian, skate .
{111413}{111459}. Brian, hey .
{111461}{111529}. When Brian Boitano traveled|through time to the year 3010 .
{111531}{111604}. He fought the evil robot king|and saved us all again .
{111606}{111678}. And when Brian Boitano|built the pyramids|he beat up Kublai Khan .
{111680}{111791}. 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't|take shit from anybody .
{111793}{111848}No, Brian! Those chicken wings|are really spicy!
{111850}{111896}Don't eat those!
{111963}{112040}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112041}{112123}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112124}{112203}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112205}{112282}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112284}{112361}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112363}{112439}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112441}{112537}. l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings .
{112539}{112623}. Brian, skate, Brian .
{112625}{112686}. 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do ..
{112724}{112787}. The eyes of a child .
{112789}{112875}. So innocent and pure .
{112906}{113001}. A child's heart|is full of song .
{113082}{113155}. Take their tiny hand .
{113157}{113228}. And lead them to the light .
{113266}{113336}. As adults|we see pain in the world .
{113338}{113440}. And it sometimes|don't seem right .
{113441}{113522}. But through the eyes|of a child .
{113546}{113633}. The world seems magical .
{113635}{113681}. There's a sparkle|in their eyes .
{113682}{113729}. They've yet to realize .
{113730}{113816}. The darkness in their soul .
{113818}{113909}. The beauty of their smile .
{113911}{113973}. Adventurous and wild .
{114007}{114092}. Life is kind of gay|but it doesn't seem that way .
{114094}{114167}. Through the eyes of a child .
{114230}{114291}. So don't give up .
{114293}{114377}. Even when the road|seems long .
{114406}{114514}. Just find that child|inside of you .
{114516}{114585}. Yeah, you've got to find you .
{114587}{114641}. Spread your wings and fly .
{114667}{114739}. To the brightest star .
{114772}{114836}. lf you want l can even|get my friend Steve .
{114838}{114948}. To detail your car|for, like, 20 bucks .
{114950}{115051}. But through the eyes|of a child .
{115052}{115135}. The world seems magical .
{115137}{115186}. There's a sparkle|in their eyes .
{115188}{115235}. They've yet to realize .
{115236}{115327}. The darkness in their soul .
{115329}{115417}. The beauty of their smile .
{115418}{115503}. Adventurous and wild .
{115505}{115599}. Sure, life is kind of gay|but it doesn't seem that way .
{115601}{115683}- . Through the eyes of a child .|- . Through the eyes|Through the eyes .
{115685}{115756}. Through the eyes of a child .
{115782}{115868}. The world seems magical .
{115870}{115919}. There's a sparkle|in their eyes .
{115921}{115968}. They've yet to realize .
{115969}{116052}. The bastards they really are .
{116054}{116126}. The beauty of their smile .
{116158}{116236}. Adventurous and wild .
{116238}{116324}. Sure, life is kind of gay|but it doesn't seem that way .
{116367}{116466}. Through the eyes of a child ..
{116623}{116668}[ Squeaking ]
{116696}{116758}Guys out there|is hurted.


说一个人蠢：it is really difficult to find something smaller than your brain
说一个人老式：If we do like this, then we rather come back to age of druid, death by stoning and dung for dineer.
侮辱一个人：if I am bastard son of bitch, then you are a fornicating champanzee.(or barboom)
侮辱一个人的父亲：your father was a nun, because when everybody ask his occuption, he alwasy reponsed:"none"
拿名字开玩笑：your family name is not sod off(可换）? Why everybody see you will say:" sod off, xxx"
少管闲事：it's none of your business, you nosiy bastard.
口齿不清：you talk just like a plate of beans are discussing how to eascape from cow's digestive system.
神志不清：you are really mad like Mad Macmand Macmad who won the mad man competition last year.
诅咒：if you do this, then god will curse you like curse for all the bugger, you big bull bugger.
滚开：sod off, fuck off, bugger off, jerk off


像楼主遇到的情况可以很简单打个哈欠，然后大声的自言自语：“It seems talk to myself is the only way to communicate the intelligence at this moment"
或是：“I am sorry to interrupt your interesting talking, but one question, why the "fuck" can leave you so deep impression?"如果她被你噎住的话，过两秒你可以继续问“anything to do with your childhood?"
还有简单一点的就是，手划十字，并大声说“be gone, satan"英语好一点的还可以加一句“get back to your filth fornicating"或简单一点“go to hell"

sun(son) of beach阳光海滩

1. Stop complaining! 别发牢骚！
2. You make me sick! 你真让我恶心！
3. What’s wrong with you? 你怎么回事？
4. You shouldn’t have done that! 你真不应该那样做!
5. You’re a jerk! 你是个废物/混球！
6. Don’t talk to me like that! 别那样和我说话!
7. Who do you think you are? 你以为你是谁？
8. What’s your problem? 你怎么回事啊？
9. I hate you! 我讨厌你！
10. I don’t want to see your face! 我不愿再见到你！
11. You’re crazy! 你疯了!
12. Are you insane/crazy/out of your mind? 你疯了吗？（美国人绝对常用！）
13. Don’t bother me. 别烦我。
14. Knock it off. 少来这一套。
15. Get out of my face. 从我面前消失！
16. Leave me alone. 走开。
17. Get lost.滚开！
18. Take a hike! 哪儿凉快哪儿歇着去吧。
19. You piss me off. 你气死我了。
20. It’s none of your business. 关你屁事！
21. What’s the meaning of this? 这是什么意思？
22. How dare you! 你敢！
23. Cut it out. 省省吧。
24. You stupid jerk! 你这蠢猪！
25. You have a lot of nerve. 脸皮真厚。
26. I’m fed up. 我厌倦了。
27. I can’t take it anymore. 我受不了了！（李阳老师常用）
28. I’ve had enough of your garbage. 我听腻了你的废话。
29. Shut up! 闭嘴！
30. What do you want? 你想怎么样？
31. Do you know what time it is? 你知道现在都几点吗？
32. What were you thinking? 你脑子进水啊？
33. How can you say that? 你怎么可以这样说？
34. Who says? 谁说的？
35. That’s what you think! 那才是你脑子里想的！
36. Don’t look at me like that. 别那样看着我。
37. What did you say? 你说什么？
38. You are out of your mind. 你脑子有毛病！
39. You make me so mad.你气死我了啦。
40. Drop dead. 去死吧！
41. **** off. 滚蛋。
42. Don’t give me your shit. 别跟我胡扯。
43. Don’t give me your excuses/ No more excuses. 别找借口。
44. You’re a pain in the ass. 你这讨厌鬼。
45. You’re an asshole. 你这缺德鬼。
46. You bastard! 你这杂种！
47. Get over yourself. 别自以为是。
48. You’re nothing to me. 你对我什么都不是。
49. It’s not my fault. 不是我的错。
50. You look guilty. 你看上去心虚。
51. I can’t help it. 我没办法。
52. That’s your problem. 那是你的问题。
53. I don’t want to hear it. 我不想听！
54. Get off my back. 少跟我罗嗦。
55. Give me a break. 饶了我吧。
56. Who do you think you’re talking to? 你以为你在跟谁说话？
57. Look at this mess! 看看这烂摊子！
58. You’re so careless. 你真粗心。
59. Why on earth didn’t you tell me the truth? 你到底为什么不跟我说实话？
60. I’m about to explode! 我肺都快要气炸了！
61. What a stupid idiot! 真是白痴一个！
62. I’m not going to put up with this! 我再也受不了啦！
63. I never want to see your face again! 我再也不要见到你！
64. That’s terrible. 真糟糕！
65. Just look at what you’ve done! 看看你都做了些什么！
66. I wish I had never met you. 我真后悔这辈子遇到你！
67. You’re a disgrace. 你真丢人！
68. I’ll never forgive you! 我永远都不会饶恕你！
69. Don’t nag me! 别在我面前唠叨！
70. I’m sick of it. 我都腻了。
71. You’re such a bitch! 你这个婊子!
72. Stop screwing/ fooling/ messing around! 别鬼混了！
73. Mind your own business! 管好你自己的事！
74. You’re just a good for nothing bum! 你真是一个废物！/ 你一无是处！
75. You’ve gone too far! 你太过分了！
76. I loathe you! 我讨厌你！
77. I detest you! 我恨你！
78. Get the hell out of here! 滚开!
79. Don’t be that way! 别那样！
80. Can’t you do anything right? 成事不足，败事有余。
81. You’re impossible. 你真不可救药。
82. Don’t touch me! 别碰我！
83. Get away from me! 离我远一点儿！
84. Get out of my life. 我不愿再见到你。/ 从我的生活中消失吧。
85. You’re a joke! 你真是一个小丑！
86. Don’t give me your attitude. 别跟我摆架子。
87. You’ll be sorry. 你会后悔的。
88. We’re through. 我们完了！
89. Look at the mess you’ve made! 你搞得一团糟！
90. You’ve ruined everything. 全都让你搞砸了。
91. I can’t believe your never. 你好大的胆子！
92. You’re away too far. 你太过分了。
93. I can’t take you any more! 我再也受不了你啦！
94. I’m telling you for the last time! 我最后再告诉你一次！
95. I could kill you! 我宰了你！
96. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! 那是我听到的最愚蠢的事！
(比尔·盖茨常用)
97. I can’t believe a word you say. 我才不信你呢!
98. You never tell the truth！ 你从来就不说实话！
99. Don’t push me ! 别逼我！
100. Enough is enough! 够了够了！
101. Don’t waste my time anymore. 别再浪费我的时间了！
102. Don’t make so much noise. I’m working. 别吵，我在干活。
103. It’s unfair. 太不公平了。
104. I’m very disappointed. 真让我失望。
105. Don’t panic! 别怕!
106. What do you think you are doing? 你知道你在做什么吗？
107. Don’t you dare come back again! 你敢再回来！
108. You asked for it. 你自找的。
109. Nonsense! 鬼话！

The Word "f**k"

This essay on the word f**k was sent to me.
I thought you would like to read it!
Click here and let me know if you like this essay!
The profound meaning of the word f**k
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English Language today is the word "f**k". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "f**k" falls into many grammatical categories.

The word f**k can be used as a verb:


Transitive "John f**ked Mary"
Intransitive "Mary was f**ked by John "
Action verb "John f**ks Mary "
Passive verb "Mary really doesn't give a f**k"
Adverb "Mary is f**king interested in John"
Noun "Mary is a terrific f**k"
Adjective "Mary is f**king beautiful"
Interjection "f**k! I'm late for my date with John"
Conjunction "Mary is easy, f**k she's also stupid"

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility
of the word "f**k". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible
word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got f**ked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, f**k it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm f**ked now."
5. Aggression "f**k YOU!"
6. Disgust "f**k me."
7. Confusion "What the f**k.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this f**king business!"
9. Despair "f**ked again..."
10. Pleasure "I f**king couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the f**k is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the f**k are we."
13. Disbelief "Unf**kingunbelievable!!!!"
14. Retaliation "Up your f**king ass!"
15. Denial "I didn't f**king do it."
16. Perplexity "I know the f**k all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a f**k, anyhow?"
18. Suspicion "Who the f**k are you?"
19. Panic "Let's get the f**k out of here."
20. Directions "f**k off."
21. Questioning "How the f**k did you do that?"
22. Doubtfull "f**k, did I do that?"

The word f**k can be Diive

Anatomical "He's a f**king asshole."
Telling time "It's five f**king thirty."
Business "How did I wind up with this f**king job?"
Maternal "Motherf**ker."
Political "f**k Hillary!

The word f**k has been used by many notable people:

"What the f**k was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" General Custer
"Where the f**k is all this water coming from?" Captain of the Titanic
"That's not a real f**king gun." John Lennon
"Who's gonna f**king find out?" Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to f**king roll." Anne Boleyn
"What f**king map?" Mark Thatcher
"Any f**king idiot could understand that." Albert Einstein
"It does so f**king look like her!" Picasso
"How the f**k did you work that out?" Pythagoras
"You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?" Michaelangelo
"f**k a duck." Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its f**king there!" Edmund Hilary
&